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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Failure (03/01/04)

TITLE: Inevitable Failure
By Jan Grupido


Years upon years. Always looking back even when I donít want to remember. Time before time. I close my eyes. His beauty, His presence. I actually walked to His throne. I knelt and knew His touch. It was like nothing else, nothing else. Like liquid diamonds flowing and warm. Like sunshine pouring into my being, at once covering, and warming, and joining my spirit. The eons of time have not dulled it. Like a mother looking through her picture albums trying to remember the smell of her babies. She closes her eyes and tries to hear baby laughter and baby tears and baby joy. Her heart aches with the sweetness. Itís all past and she knows it. But today she can still hold those babies. She sees them grown and loving. But I hold nothing. My eyes close and I see only faded barbs, bitter tears, no joy, no Him. This is the pain flooding my mind, streaming to the very center of my angelic self.

Where did it start? Maybe when I first glimpsed myself in His eyes and saw the love he held for me. I knew I was worthy of His love. I wonít let the memory be spoiled. He did love me! I was worthy! I know! Why even the others looked at me and saw my beauty. They adored me. They followed my light. They still follow it to this day! I am worthy.

Then He created them! And, somehow, He loved them more. It was always true. He was my Father. My Father, first! But He had reserved that love for them even as he banished me. Why, he even went so far as to plan it that way. Not just the beginning of it! He planned the whole of it, even the end of it. He spoke it all into being and then He wrapped His heart within the heart of His Son. He was His Son was Him, and what was I? A failure. A fallen failure. And worse, He turned it. He made my failure part of His own plan. It was my failure to love Him more than myself?! It was my failure. I was the angel of light. No more light. Only failure. I know He comes again, and this time I will fail. I will fail for the last time.

By Jan Grupido

Member Comments
Member Date
Dave Wagner03/09/04
This piece is absolutely brilliant. I am amazed that no one has commented on this piece yet. I can't tell you the strength of my reaction when I first began to realize who was speaking in this piece. I had to completely ditch my notes to that point (I make notes as I read these submissions).

What an accomplishment this piece is. The style is rich and intriguing by itself, but that jolt that happens when you realize who is speaking immediately gives this piece almost limitless depth as well...like plunging off a cliff (in a good way). Fascinating.

Again, I'm amazed no one has commented on this piece yet. Perhaps it was too swift for most. Sorry to be redundant...this is quite an accomplishment.

>> I knelt and knew His touch. <<

>> Her heart aches with the sweetness. <<

>> He wrapped His heart within the heart of His Son. <<

>> He made my failure part of His own plan.<<

No comments are needed. The words speak for themselves, quite clearly.

Mary Elder-Criss03/10/04
Not a whole lot more I can add to Dave's comments other than a big "WHOA!" This was an amazing piece. I had to go back and read it several times to get the full impact, and each time I was still saying, "Whoa." Excellent. ~Mary
You touched on things I wonder about sometimes does Satan ever regret being Satan?

Great work.
Joyce Poet03/10/04
"He was His Son was Him, and what was I?"

??? I don't understand this question.
This is a very thought provoking piece. It could use some editing, but it was enjoyable.
Lynne Cox03/12/04
Yikes! This is so beautiful and so sad, truly how terrible it would be to not be loved by God.
Linda Germain 03/13/04
Very effective! What a creative approach. Wish I had thought of it!!
Donna Anderson03/13/04
OOOOOO, I can imagine some brilliant orator alone on a dimly lit stage....
This is great!