Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Discipleship (02/23/04)

TITLE: Are we qualified to be a Disciple
By arnetta murray
02/25/04

 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND

One disciple was a fisherman, another one was a tax collecter and one betrayed him. Now, we know that their were others but these 3 stood out the most in my mind. After looking at their qualifications I'm wondering in my mind how could they have been disciples. What was Jesus thinking? Picking people to follow him that seemed unimportant to man's eye sight.

Let's just be real, I would have picked a Governor, a lawyer or even a celebrity to be a Disciple. Yet, Jesus does something different. It's really amazing. I guess it is really true that, "man looks at the outside but God looks at the heart". Man looks at the outward features of a person, we look at the jobs, we look at the money. Yet, our wonderful Jesus looks deeper and that's refreshing.

Being God's disciple starts with the heart. Remember, God already knows our heart. We have to really be able to
"take up our cross and follow him". Follow his will and his way. Now, there will be times when we will fall asleep on the job. There have been times when we betrayed him and doubted him. Yet, Discipleship is more about Jesus and his way and his agenda. It's not about WHO we are.. Discipleship is about Jesus and Jesus alone. Are you qualified?


Member Comments
Member Date
Glenda Lagerstedt03/01/04
You say that our wonderful Jesus looks deeper and that is refreshing. He looks deeper in me than I can see myself, beyond the failures. Loved your insightful and encouraging submission.
L.M. Lee03/02/04
it's not about me....it's all about HIM!
Christine Rhee03/04/04
Oh, wow! This is great!!
Donna Anderson03/04/04
Qualified! :)
Dave Wagner03/05/04
Your hypothesis completely transforms over the course of the piece. You start off by showing the diversity of characters that Jesus picked to be His disciples, saying how differently you might have done it. You stress how God searches the heart, while we men are hung up on outward appearance/wealth, etc. You then abandon that whole line of thinking and end by saying that it’s “more about Jesus”, and then shift completely over to “discipleship is about Jesus and Jesus alone.”

I would have made mention of the “Jesus and Jesus alone” at the very outset, drifted into the different types of people Jesus likes to include, then finish with the “Jesus alone” punch again, coming full circle. As it is now, it seems like you are evolving your ideas as you write, rather than ahead of time. It’s kind of a “free-form” flow.

>> We have to really be able to "take up our cross and follow him". Follow his will and his way.

If you don’t provide a more detailed description of what it means to follow Him (and how), then the reader is forced to simply apply his/her own definition and just agree with you and move on. If you would like to help the reader and encourage him/her to grow, then give him/her some more info that they might not have. You mention “falling asleep, betrayal, and doubt”…now tell us about what that could mean on a practical level, in our walk with Him. Give us an example from your life, and how you conquered it. Perhaps one of us is wrestling with something that you have already experienced, and your insight could help out tremendously.

Structurally, certain places could benefit from being tightened up. Some repeated/unnecessary words.

I didn’t comment on this piece up until now because I didn’t want to risk squashing a new writer. I wish I could convey how glad I am that you took the time to write and submit this, for I really am glad. But, the long and short of it is that this piece needs a lot of work, and you asked for a critique in the forum! :P

I honestly hope some of this helps, and you don’t get bummed out. Press on!
Kenny Paul Clarkson03/07/04
Very concise. That's makes it a easy yet pointed read. And to "It's not about WHO we are" I would "It's about WHOSE we are."

— Kenny Paul Clarkson, 1492@usa.com