And then he passed out from the pain of his grievous injuries? He seems to be pretty coherent for a man that had part of his scalp cleaved off.
I appreciate your efforts, they are pretty solidly actualized. I enjoy seeing writing like this, that hits familiar stories from unexpected angles. It's a solid, creative piece. A bit corny in places, but hey, that's no biggie. I enjoyed reading it, though it doesn't really elaborate at all on what becoming a disciple means, or would mean to this character.