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Topic: Betrayal (02/16/04)
TITLE: Her Choice
By Corinne Smelker
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Perhaps the test was wrong, but deep down she knew it wasn’t. She already had a baby; she knew the symptoms too well to ignore them. She felt the nausea rise in her again, and fought it down.
I know it’s Bob’s baby, but I’m in love with Hank too! What am I to do?
Flirting with the two men had been fun at first; playing them one against the other made her feel powerful, attractive and sexy. Little did she know the emotional trap she had dug for herself!
I love Bob’s stability, his good job. But Hank…ah, there’s a free spirit if ever I knew one. How do I explain this to them? How did I let this happen? I know I have to choose between them, but when I’m with one I can’t stop thinking about the other! When I’m with Hank I long for Bob’s stability; when I’m with Bob I want the free spirit embodied in Hank.
I can’t have another baby without being married! What will my parents think? What will my church friends think? They accepted me after my first mistake, did I learn nothing from that? Oh man, now what do I do?
Shaking with sobs, she reached out to grab the black, bedside phone. She dialed a familiar number. “Bob? Can you come over? I have to talk to you…Yes, now…OK.”
Ten minutes later, she heard his key in the lock to her small one and a half bedroom flat and a cheery, “Hi!”
Ten minutes after that, his demeanour had completely changed as the news hit him. He knew about Hank, of course; they were best friends before she came between them and destroyed the friendship. He questioned her closely about the baby; how she knew it was his, and not Hank’s. The answers she gave satisfied him, he accepted that the baby growing inside her was indeed his.
“Well, the decision is yours.” Abruptly he got up and left the room, slamming the front door behind him, leaving his key on the coffee table.
Now what? I can’t tell Hank! Abortion. No, I can’t…it’s a life inside of me. I know all about the development of babies. I know what the Bible says about this. But, I’m already so guilty! Living with two different guys at one time! Why would God want to bother with me anyway? I’m already on my way to hell. I’ve made so many mistakes as it is. He could never possibly want me back!
With these lies running through her mind, she flicked through the city phone book next to the phone, until she found the number. Gaining control over her voice, she spoke in measured tones to the person on the other side. “Hello, yes, I need to make an appointment to see the doctor. I need a termination.” She could not bring herself to say the “A” word. “On Tuesday at 9:00. I have it, thank you.”
Replacing the phone on the cradle, she reached down to her still-flat abdomen, and cried harder than she ever had in her life. The awareness of the betrayal to her unborn child threatened to engulf her. But, she made her choice.