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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Rejection (11/15/04)

TITLE: My Friend, Her Man, and the Email
By April Groves


My name has been replaced as first on the list. And we are not just talking about any list. We are talking about the junk email forward list. That group of family and friends who love you enough not to tell you that they have already received the “This Is A Great Story, I Just Had To Pass it on to My Eight People” email a dozen times this week. This may seem like an insignificant thing to some, but allow me to explain. For almost a year, Theresa and I have been inseparable as friends. Situations exist that cause me to be away from my family for long periods of time. But, Theresa has been there with me and we had become the best of friends. And I was first on her list.

Then, about two weeks ago, “The Man” entered the picture. Nice guy he is. He is just the kind of guy you would want your best friend to get involved with. He is very friendly and quite attractive. So far, he is easy to talk to and pleasant to be around. I like him well enough. He is a good fit for her and I am glad they are getting to know each other. And, while I am attempting to recognize that this situation is not about me, I feel deeply affected. I even become irrational at times and swear that I should have a say in all this change. But I don’t.

I did notice a few changes. My company is not always welcome and I am occasionally politely asked to excuse myself. We usually had lunch together after church on Sundays. Now I wait to be invited to come along. Once there, I feel like a mistake. The conversation has dropped off too, but that could also be attributed to a recent change in schedule. I started to get suspicious when the regular diet coke breaks were no longer needed nor requested. That’s when I noticed it. His name was first. When emails suggested a forward frenzy, he was thought of first. When a plea to preserve good luck sent her running for her friend’s email, he was first.

I knew there would be changes when she became part of a couple. There has to be changes. The man must come before the friend. I must admit that I did not expect it to happen so quickly. And I didn’t expect to feel so dismissed. There is a very good possibility that I am the one who is wrong here. There is even a greater chance that no one is wrong – it just is what it is. Still, I haven’t quite figured out where to put these feelings just yet. I feel tossed aside and unimportant. I feel unnecessary – like I have filled the gap and now that gap is gone, my services are no longer required. I feel stupid and immature for feeling this way. I feel like a child stomping my feet in protest not wanting to act like a “big girl.” But, I can’t ignore the sadness. She is my best friend, and I won’t just let that go.

So, for now, I will just leave it a Jesus’ feet. And I will remember the numerous times that I have replaced His name from the front of the list. And, if I hurt, as a very imperfect friend, how much more He must hurt as my perfect friend. And I remember that He is my perfect friend. I am always first on His list. He always has my best interest in mind and He is eternally faithful. Imperfect people will love me in imperfect ways. I will love imperfect people in an imperfect way because I, before all others, am totally imperfect. And, mercifully, Jesus will love us all perfectly.

Member Comments
Member Date
Marjorie Arrowood11/22/04
The title hooked me and I was rewarded with an interesting read.
Rita Garcia11/22/04
April, Great title! Well written, entertaining and a wonderful message all adds up to a fantastic read. Love, Rita
Melanie Kerr 11/23/04
I thought that was excellent. I have to admit to being on the "doing that to someone" side of things, without even thinking about it. That was a short sharp slap in the face that woke me up!
Deborah Anderson11/24/04
Good take on what people really go through when this happens. God bless you.
Norma OGrady11/24/04
great job on this story!
Yeshua bless
Debbie OConnor11/28/04
Great job. I really enjoyed this. Your conclusion was particularly strong, we are all first on God's list!