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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Rejection (11/15/04)

TITLE: The Book of Me...
By Judith Gayle Smith
11/19/04

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(a treatise on self-rejection)
---------------------------------------


i'm so dragged and drugged - bedraggled. Sigh.
So filled with malaise, boneless am i.
Useless, formless, senseslessly sad i be.
No longer myself, 'cause people know me
to always be cheery and smiling, i know.
The facade i put up each day is pure show
that's fooling myself and others - depressed.
Repressed, suppressed and if you think less
of me, it would be nice to settle deep within
a comfortable coma, no expectations to win.
No responsibilities, just lie quiet, be still
and then reality hits - as it persistently will.
i should take medication, but why even try?
Physically, mentally - and emotionally i cry.
Spiritually i argue with myself so doleful
but i cannot refrain - i'm just drawn to that hole
of quicksand sucking me deeper into self pity.
i look deeper inside, and it's not very pretty.
It would be so easy to yield. Is this really a sin
or a fault, not a true life that is seeking to win
escape from the norm, from the ordinary path?
An avoidance of reality i hide with a laugh?
To hide from unpleasantness of my own creation,
i've sat and i've grieved with no expectation.
i can't think of anything else, 'cause you see -
this stranglehold i have thrown around me
seeks no true solution - so i piteously cry:
"Dear LORD - please save me! Lest I actually die!"


Member Comments
Member Date
Melanie Kerr 11/22/04
The emotions expressed are very raw and very real. The feeling that there is no way out is cleary felt. I think that you have the essence of the poem right but you need to play around with the structure. Sometimes I lost the rhythmn.
Mitzi Busby11/22/04
I enjoyed your expressions and your poetry.
Deborah Anderson11/23/04
I liked the gut wrenching honesty. God bless you.
Karen O'Leary11/24/04
Raw and filled with emotion. You conveyed the feelings well.
Norma OGrady11/25/04
Self rejection is the worst
nice written story in a poem
Yeshua bless
Debbie OConnor11/28/04
Very good entry. I liked the question, is this a sin? Something to ponder regarding my own tendency to hide from reality. A creative, challenging read.
Jennifer Solla11/28/04
I enjoyed "a comfortable coma"
Very well written. Loved the rhythym of this poem.
Linda Germain 11/28/04
Great word painting. "Boneless, formless and senselessly sad." (Clinically depressed folks present this very picture.) Creative poetry is endlessly fascinating and intriguing. Makes one THINK. Good job! ~LG~