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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Poor (10/25/04)

TITLE: Let the poor say that they are rich.
By Ma. Hannah Sanchez
10/28/04

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In one of our CWTS class, our teacher discussed the kinds of poverty.
This is the list that she gave us.

1.) Material poverty
2.) Emotional poverty
3.) Societal poverty
4.) Physiological poverty
5.) Intellectual poverty
6.) Spiritual poverty

From this list, can we really say that there is someone who is really rich in every aspect? This list may be considered as a kinder garden lesson but it does hold some sense in it.

Some people can be multi-millionaires but are very poor in their health (physiological poverty). They spend most of their money to live longer. Some maybe very smart in class but lacks the love of the people he or she desires (emotional poverty). Other children may have all the freedom that other children dream have but has no food to eat and just wonder around the streets like the street children (material poverty). These children have become so dirty that society despises to be with them (societal poverty). Others could be have been born in a very good family but were born with mental defects that made them dumb or a little bit crazy (intellectual poverty). While others still can have all the things the things the world can offer but live their lives in darkness (spiritual poverty).

When anyone will hear the term “poor” I am sure that 99.9% will think of people who are materially poor. Yet I have come to realize that being poor or rich is not on how much of the world do you have but on how much you store for the Lord. Indeed every one of us is poor in most aspects of our lives. Humanly speaking, man will always be poor because man will always be unsatisfied. It is a truth when the Bible declares that “The eye never has enough of seeing nor the ear its fill of hearing” (Ecclesiastes 1:8b).

Yet despite the undeniable facts, believers in Christ know that they are rich not because of wealth but because of God’s grace. Indeed, it is by his grace that those who are saved are able to store riches that are imperishable in the kingdom of heaven.

It is because of His death and resurrection that the poor are able to say that they are rich.


Member Comments
Member Date
Phyllis Inniss 11/02/04
Yes, we are rich because of God's grace and not because of wealth. Thanks for listing the different types of poverty. Blessings.
Verlie Ruhl11/02/04
Good thoughts. Amen to your last sentence.
Debbie OConnor11/05/04
Good stuff. Very interesting and well laid out.
Deborah Porter 11/05/04
What an interesting thought Hannah, "From this list, can we really say that there is someone who is really rich in every aspect?" That's something to think about. There could actually be some who have managed to have balance in every area, but I think your right. Most of us are probably a bit light on in at least one area. The message you are sharing is definitely a good one and you actually communicated it quite well with a very good rounding up in those last two paragraphs.

As for a critique, you do need a bit of help with editing. For example, this sentence, "Other children may have all the freedom that other children dream have but has no food to eat and just wonder around the streets like the street children (material poverty)." There are quite a few places in that where the wording is awkward, plus the word "other" at the beginning, makes the reader think you must have mentioned children previously, which you haven't.

A suggested change would be something like, "Some children may have all the freedom that other children only dream of, but have no food to eat and just wander around the streets (material poverty).

I took the "like the street children" out because the children you were referring to sound very much like street children anyway. The double reference to them was a bit confusing for the reader.

So there are similar things to this right through your piece (particularly in that same paragraph). Nothing that a little bit of editing wouldn't put right.

Another thing from that paragraph, "While others still can have all the things the things the world can offer ..." Try to avoid using the same words so close together. It's something else I noticed you did a couple of times.

Also, at the start where you mentioned the CWTS class, I think it's always best as a writer to take it for granted that your reader doesn't know what abbreviations stand for. In this case, I definitely don't. So always start with the full title of something, then you can put the abbreviation in brackets next to it (if it's going to be repeated again in the message).

Anyway Hannah, you were looking for a critique, so I hope this will be helpful for you. As I said, you actually have a good, simple message and I can see that if you keep polishing your skill, you should grow and develop into quite a capable writer.

With love, Deb
darlene hight11/06/04
Hannah,
I love the spin that you have taken on this topic. It's very good to remind people that poor is many things not just material wealth. Good job!