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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Laughter (10/18/04)

TITLE: FALSE TEETH
By Charles Lee
10/21/04

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ďAmenísĒ were voiced through the room. Someone kept saying ďPraise the Lord!Ē The song service had ended and had left everyone hungry for the message that was to come. All eyes were fixed on me as I preached from Godís Holy Word.

All eyes except for the little old lady that had fallen fast asleep in her wheelchair. Unfazed by her snores, I plodded on, intent on bringing forth the message and holding up my Lord before the masses. The masses were in reality only about twenty five elderly men and women that were residents in a local nursing home in my hometown.

As I preached, to more or less attentive listeners (mostly less), something dropped and clattered on the floor near my feet. I fought the urge to run screaming from the building when I saw that it was the ladyís teeth grinning up at me from the floor. Apparently, she had forgotten to glue them in upon hearing that she would be attending a church service that morning and would be getting a nap.

I considered kicking them under her chair so I couldnít see them, when an attendant from the home, darted in front of me with the skill of one who had practice picking teeth off the floor, and picked the chompers up and placed them in a napkin to be cleaned and later returned to their rightful mouth.

Thankfully, a few years and a little experience with unruly false teeth (not mine) had hardened me against breaking loose with uncontrolled laughter. The same could not be said of some of the others in the room, who howled unashamedly at the teeth and the dilemma I faced. The lady continued to snore.

I was able to stand solemn faced and preacher like without even the hint of a smile. A few years earlier I didnít display such control. At the afore mentioned time I was in the audience.

The man preaching had the habit of waving his arms back and forth in the manner of a flight attendant displaying the exits at the front and rear of a jetliner. This habit saved him from the embarrassment of searching under pews for HIS teeth. What he preached, Iím sure nobody can recall, but as his arms was in the exit position, his teeth shot from his mouth. Without missing a beat, his arms came back to the front of the plane position and caught and returned his teeth to their rightful place.

It was an amazing act to witness, and looking back on the incident; I wished we had instant replay in the church service so I could have reviewed his technique for future references.

At the time, though, I could only bow my head as if I were taking a moment to pray, and hope everyone else was having the same problem I was having. The problem of keeping their insides from exploding by holding in the loud laughter that was trying to escape. He continued bravely on hoping nobody had noticed. Fat chance! The one time you have an attentive audience, your teeth fly out.

As I search for the great theological lesson to be learned, the thought of those teeth jumping out of his mouth has me laughing out loud in the safety of my home. The kids look at daddy as if I have lost my mind when I turn and impart to them this wisdom that I have learned.

BRUSH YOUR TEETH, OR GLUE THEM IN LATER! Itís the least I can do for them.


Member Comments
Member Date
Cassandra Plummer10/25/04
I shared your wisdom with my grandsons; 6yrs, 4yrs and 3yrs. They all said they'd rather brush now. Hope I can remember to use this when they are older. You have a great story telling ability, whhich I admire very much. God Bless You! Thanks for sharing.
Lynda Lee Schab 10/26/04
ROFL, Charles! This was a great entry and served it's purpose - which was to make the reader laugh out loud (at least I did - more than once!) Great story-telling, wonderful visual piece. Well done!
Blessings, Lynda
Martha Robinson10/26/04
Very funny, humorous entry! I loved it.
Barbie Jones10/26/04
Charles, I loved it! This is my kind of story.
Melanie Kerr 10/26/04
A lovely last line! My mother once accidentally flushed her false teeth down the toilet - that is a close to a false teeth story as I can come.
Lisa Beaman10/27/04
Great job! Made me laugh!
Marina Rojas10/27/04
This was the funniest thing I have read for a long time! I was cracking up half the way through. And I loved the moral of the story. This is soooo good!
Debbie OConnor10/27/04
Too funny! I'm going to use it on my kids!
Phyllis Inniss 10/29/04
This is a hilarious story and so beautifully told. It fitted in totally well with the subject of the week. Love it.
L.M. Lee10/29/04
oh, what a memory!
darlene hight10/30/04
Lot's of fun!
Glenda Lagerstedt10/30/04
Funny. Church laughs are hard to control.
Hope Horner10/31/04
This is hilarious! I actually laughed out loud while reading this. Your told the story very well and I could really picture it happening. I liked the way you described his arms waving like a flight attendant pointing out the exits--very fresh. Great job and thanks for sharing! That's it for now--I gotta go brush my teeth!