Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Satisfied (10/11/04)

TITLE: The journey
By gillian liversedge


The journey had been long and hard.

Looking back, I remembered the excitement of its beginning. The star, appearing so suddenly, had caused us to gather together. What could it mean? With one mind, we searched the ancient manuscripts and charts. We spoke to those wiser than ourselves, seeking counsel. So it was that we found the meaning. A child had been born, a king. The king of the Jews!

The knowledge was too great, the star too bright, for us to ignore it. We must visit, we must pay homage to this king.

It took us a while to prepare. Our affairs must be put in order. Servants hired, gifts chosen. Farewells to be said. At last, we were ready. Excited, and determined, we set off.

As I already said, the road was long and hard. Though we travelled with wealth and privilege, we still suffered discomfort at times. Yet the star beckoned us, urging us on, calling us. We could not give up, would not be discouraged!

We neared Jerusalem, and knew we must call on Herod. He was reputed to be a proud and pompous king, who would be offended if we did not visit. His palace was grand, and his hospitality effusive. Yet when we asked if he knew the whereabouts of the new king, he became flustered. It seemed that he knew nothing of the birth of this child. Calling together his advisors, he took some time to find the birthplace, as foretold in the prophecies. Eventually he sent us to Bethlehem, and we were relived to be once again on the road.

In Bethlehem, the star, for so long our companion, stood still, and we easily found the house. The child’s parents, Mary and Joseph, seemed startled to see us, but received us gladly. The hospitality they offered, though much more humble than that of Herod, was given with joy and peace. We received it with much gratitude.

Then we saw the child. Interrupted in his play, and seated on Mary’s knee, he gazed at us, and chuckled. At the time, we thought he was amused by our colourful clothes, out of place in that humble house. But looking back, I rather think that it was us he was pleased with, our very selves, and not our clothes.

So we offered our gifts, and went on our way.

The journey had been long and hard. But as we travelled home, we all knew that, to have seen Him, to have received His smile, was enough. We were satisfied.

Member Comments
Member Date
darlene hight10/18/04
Excellent entry and solid point!Loved it!
Dave Wagner10/18/04
Too many cliches, especially the "long and hard" repititions. You need to expand your vocabulary a bit more...using "effusive" was good, but the story itself could triple it's grip and punch by ratcheting up word choices and trimming the cliches, including the final three words, which are understood, and do not need to be said.

In any case, I appreciate the post. Ironically, this is the angle of the play we happen to be producing at our church this holiday season - traveling with the wise men, from Babylon to Jerusalem to Bethlehem.

Thanks for posting.
Dori Knight10/18/04
i love a good Christmas story! good job!

blessings ~

Rita Garcia10/18/04
Gillian, wondeful entry, well written! Blessings, Rita
Glenda Lagerstedt10/18/04
I like the beauty and simplicity of y our story. Great job.
Lucian Thompson10/19/04
Gillian, after reading your entry, I find myself looking ahead to the season we celebrate the birth of our Savior. Nice job.
Mary Elder-Criss10/21/04
I enjoyed the story told by the view of the wise men, it's unusual. It's a good piece..tighten it up a little bit by reducing the "long and hard" repitions and you have a winner. Thanks for sharing. Mary
Marina Rojas10/24/04
hmmmm this was a very satisfying look at what the Magi must have felt like. How wonderful it must have been to see His face! Thank you for such a good story!