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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Pets (09/13/04)

TITLE: Victory by Night
By Roberta Kittrell
09/13/04

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Shhhhhhhh! There they are...like two fawns ever on the alert. They look like statues; the only parts moving are an occasional quiver of a nose, a darting of an eye, an ear going on full alert. In unison, up they jump fully on the run in pursuit of something. What are they after? You donít see anything but them. But, you know something is there. They had stopped abruptly, nose immediately to the ground. Radar going at full tilt. Where lack of space did not permit them to go any further, they stood side-by-side in sentinel position--each standing on three legs, with the left front leg raised (perfect position of the great hunting dog). You donít respond immediately. They look at you, and give out a puzzled chorus of whimpering.

You gather up your courage and quietly approach to where they are standing. At your command, they step aside. There in the near darkness you see it. What to do? What effective weapon did you have? You order your faithful hunters to stand back and you go around to see what you have that might do the job. You know you donít have much time. The varmint might get away anytime. Sometime when you are not aware--possibly in your sleep--it might attack. What to use?

With a prayer--after all, one is to do everything in prayer, you pick up the can and go back to where the faithful hunters are still standing at attention. Good! You know the varmint is still there. You push down on the top of the can and let it shoot out its contents. Itís a hit! You see and almost hear the varmint drop. You donít know whether itís dead or wounded. Will it strike out at you? You pick up the nearest object and creep close to the narrow crack into which it had been herded, and you drop the object right on top of where you suspect the varmint to be.

You call off the faithful hunters. Pet them. Making quite a fuss over their prowess, and give them the well-deserved treat.

A couple of days later, a friend and you gingerly approach the spot where the incident had occurred. Hoping that the varmint is dead, you gingerly start moving a few things out of the way.... You see the dead varmint......a rat, felled by wasp spray and partially encircled by an empty metal picture frame! Yes, the Lu-Luís had done it again!

(A quick click to my profile page will show the mighty huntresses, the Lu-Lu's.)


Member Comments
Member Date
Teresa Lee Rainey09/20/04
Hey. . . where's the photo? Loved the story. I can just picture the tiniest little dogs, or kittens, or ???
Roberta Kittrell09/20/04
Teresa and all FaithWriters who may their story by reading it and commenting on it, please forgive this newcomer to FaithWriters. I misspoke when I said a picture of the Lu-Lu's is in my "profile." In is at the beginning of my "Featured Member Portfolio." As you will see, they are Chihuahuas. "Victory by Night" is the second part of "The Lu-Lu's and Others Tails." Part one was submitted to the magazine. Hope you enjoy. Blessings always, Bobbi
Roberta Kittrell09/20/04
Sorry for the typos in the above comments. Haste does make waste, or at least errors. The word "grace" was missing from the first sentence. The beginning of the second should be "It". God's way of keeping me humble as I go in ministry for Him. Bobbi
Marina Rojas09/20/04
Ah, the thrill of the hunt, the victory of the capture! This was a treat of suspense and hilarity at the same time!
WENDY DECKER09/23/04
Dear Bobbi,

I liked your story very much-- Especially the beginning.

Just a suggestion in the first paragraph to make it flow better:

(Lack of space did not permit them to go any further. They stood side-by-side in sentinel position--each one using only three legs. The left, front leg was raised, the perfect position of a great hunting dog. You donít respond immediately. They look at you puzzled and let out a chorus of whimpering.)

Again, it's only a suggetion. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Roberta Kittrell09/23/04
Wendy, thanks for taking time to read it. Double thanks for the suggestion. It is most welcome. Two heads--especially if yours is one and the other is mine--help to make mine better. Bobbi
Trish Thompson09/27/04
What a cute story!!

Your descriptions are so vivid, I was quivering right along with the lulus....and the ending was so funny!

Glad that they got a good bit of "fussing over" for such a wonderful job of hunting and guarding!!
Rita Garcia11/21/04
Sweet Sister, This was written before I joined FW. I missed out on this treat, but glad to find it now. This is a wonderful story, I can just see those precious LU-LU's, Much love to you and to the Lu-Lu's.