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This seat and this suit, they were like a comfortable old pair of shoes and socks. But that was not what kept him there. Was it obligation? It definitely wasn’t self fulfilling and pleasant or he wouldn’t need so much of the pain killer and the antidepressant he requested each time he saw his doctor.
Yet somehow this time was different. The memories of the past year came flooding in and no matter how much medication he took, it didn’t seem to help anymore.
“Did you know ME?”
“Did you Love ME?”
“Did you feed MY sheep?”
This year had been like all the others. He started checking his list.
“Was I the rock they expected me to be?” “Yes”
“Did I teach all that they requested me to teach?” “Yes”
“Did my students do well on their tests?” “Yes”
“Do my students love and admire me?” “They say that they do.”
“Did you teach them to know ME?”
“Did you teach them to Love ME?”
“Did you teach them to go out and feed MY sheep?”
He couldn’t stand it any longer. He was going to confront this voice inside of him once and for all. He was tired of living on medications and of living numb in this world.
“Whoever you are inside my head or heart, what do you want?”
“Do you want peace and hope?”
“Yes!”
“Then you must know ME!”
“I get the point!” “I won’t get any peace until I do, so who are you?”
“I AM the One who made you, you weren’t made by accident”
“But no one made me, I evolved from an ocean, that came from a universe, that came from a big bang, billions of years ago.”
“Are you sure that you have all the facts?”
“Yes, well no, I mean yes, well, I guess I wouldn’t bet by life on it. We are always discovering new things as the technology improves.” “Are you going to give me the answers now?”
“No.” “No one would believe you.” “Mankind seems to be stubborn like that.” “That will not serve MY purposes at this time, otherwise I would have already told mankind.” “There are so many things that mankind is just not ready for yet.” “I will continue to show you at the pace I have set for you.”
“For someone in my head, you sure talk with authority. Or maybe I am just going crazy after all these years of living on medication.” “I would like to believe that there is someone out there that can end all this suffering, but it seems too good to be true.”
“Will you give ME a chance?” “I want to help you”
“Maybe if you left me alone, I would be better”
“Are you sure? Is the world just as you would have it?”
“That’s a good point!” “All right, if I give you a chance will you let me be?”
“Yes” “But you must promise me something. Teach MY sheep the truths that you would risk your life on or teach them nothing”
“Well that eliminates a lot of my teaching.” “Are you trying to get me to retire early?”
“If you are not teaching the truths that you would risk your life on, is it possible that you are teaching the wrong things to your students?”
“What could I teach my students then?”
“Do you believe that these things I say to you are true?”
“Life is better with love”
“It takes truth to gain knowledge”
“Mankind must get along with each other, for the world to be a better place”
“Those that are willing to give their life and happiness up for you, deserve honor and respect”
“All people should be cared for, not just a chosen few”
“Life would be better without evil in it”
“All things in this world die and decay”
“Yes, but those aren’t the things that I need to teach”
“Is what you teach, more important than these things?”
“No.” “But I teach history that proves that those are wonderful, but humans aren’t capable of being consistent and following through with those things.” “Sometimes we succeed, but mostly we fail” “It gets too frustrating to hope for them anymore”
“Can I show you a few people that have found these Hopes come alive through ME?”
And he said, “Yes”
Later that year he asked his graduates to forgive him for not teaching them what they truly needed for Life Everlasting.
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