The top ten things I have learnt in life:
10. The lie all doctors tell, “It won’t hurt a bit!”
9. The lie all parents tell, “This will hurt me more than it hurts you!” Yeah, right, how come they’re not the ones crying?
8. If it sounds too good to be true, then it’s definitely not free.
7. “Homes starting as low as…” Yeah — if you choose to have no electrical, no plumbing, dry wall, roof, windows…
6. There are children out there who behave worse than mine!
Corollary: And I will probably land up babysitting them.
5. Birth control is over-rated. Just trust me on this one, OK?
4. Baby-kissing politicians — heck all politicians — and politics don’t mix.
Corollary: The person least suited to the job is most likely to be elected.
3. Small children and mud puddles are inseparable playmates.
Corollary: Where there is a mud puddle, you will find a young child dressed in all their church finery, in the midst of a mud bath.
2. Don’t run with scissors — ever. Again, just trust me on this one!
And the number one lesson I have learnt in life:
1. Jesus is my everything! He’s the reason I live and breathe!