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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Acceptance (01/12/04)

TITLE: Thinking Back In Time
By Wanda M. R. Garrett


This particular day was just like any other day, boring, uneventful, with a feel of negativity surrounding my every thought. I sat looking out the window not feeling sorry for myself, but I didnít any friends. My life was just as normal as everyone else my age, but for some reason I always felt like the ugly duckling. I wanted friends, I wanted to be popular, and have people seeking me out to be my friend. That kind of thing never happened to me, so my life was very secretive and lonely. I learned to deal with the fact of not having friends and became quite content with myself. I saw how other people in school went out of their way to be liked and accepted. They would try buying someoneís lunch, offering to carry their books; but I wasnít going that route for nobody. My thinking was, either people accepted me for who I was or they didnít. I didnít have the popular clothes, but I was clean. After a while I took on the attitude that, it was their loss not to get to know me. If they couldíve looked past my unpopular clothes, looked past my not so popular hair style, they would have seen that I was a good person and couldíve been a good friend. If people would have given themselves the opportunity to just talk to me they would have been surprised. Instead I was judged by my clothes, who my parents were, where I lived. I was judged by all the things that were not under my control.
I remember going out to school dances.
I remember walks in the park with a high school sweetheart
I remember walking the streets always alone.
My thoughts only took me back in time when I was trying to piece my thought life together to make some sense of it all. It was like I lived in a cave surrounded by darkness, the night had become a welcome friend. Why was I alone, why did I have no friends? What was I was really looking for in my life. What made me find contentment in this lonely situation?
One thing that stuck out in my mind was the fact that I wasnít like anybody else. As I got older I realized something about myself. I lived for me, not for anyone else. I didnít follow the in crowd, I had my own thoughts, followed my own mind. My life was not lived to please anybody. What I actually found out about myself was this; I had set myself apart from the others because I didnít want to be like them. I didnít want to be someone who always wanted to please somebody else to get along.
My life was unique, quiet and reserved, and I liked it that way. I found out that I didnít need the acceptance or the approval of others to validate my being.
When Jesus saved me in my adult life, the things I went through in my younger years carried over.
I found in the word of God that He was the one I had to seek to please and get approval from. The Bible taught me that I was bought with a price, and I was not my own. In Psalms 19:14, Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
The more of the word of God that I put into my heart the more I spoke out of my mouth. When I meditate upon the goodness of God, it strengthened me, it gives me joy, and I find peace. My mind became renew and I did not let the world transform me.
God is the only one in my life that I need acceptance from. He is the only one that I truly have a desire to please. In the quietness of my room, in my solitude, I am comfortable. I can be myself made better by Jesus and it doesnít matter what people say about me. Iím not a people pleaser and never have been; I learned that lesson early in life, and that has made me a better Christian. My acceptance comes from my Lord and in Him I am complete and content with his approval alone.

Member Comments
Member Date
L.M. Lee01/22/04
the real strength of Christianity is finding our identity in Christ and we can only do that as we renew our minds with His words.