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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Breaking the Rules (08/16/04)

TITLE: Pinocchipines
By Joyce Poet
08/18/04

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Pinocchio, Pinocchio,
won't you cut your strings
and show me how a real boy
dances and cries and sings?

Pinocchio, Pinocchio,
look at what you do.
I don't want to see you dance.
I just want to know you.

You dance for me. You play for me.
You act out the parts.
Who are you behind the wood?
Do wooden boys have hearts?

Pinocchio, Pinocchio,
don't you want to be
as real as the other boys
and run because you're free?

Have you ever met a porcupine,
its quills sharp as pins?
Mine are sharp as razor blades
to guard what is within.

But, my dearest Pinocchio,
at least I am real.
If you could get passed my quills,
you'd see that I can feel.

Oh, what a match, Pinocchio
and a porcupine.
I might just put my guards down,
if you'd just cut your line.

They could call us Pinocchipines.
"What a pair of fools."
Meet me in the middle, friend,
and let's break all the rules.

Pinocchio, stop pretending.
Please, just be for real.
And I will let down my guards.
Come on, let's make a deal.

I promise not to leave you stranded.
I'll love that real man.
We'll take this cruel world by storm
and dance because we can.

We'll dance and play. We'll laugh and sing.
We'll do it for fun,
and never do it again
just to please anyone.

Pinocchio, Pinocchio,
won't you come and play?
Who are you behind the wood?
Come, be alive today.

Pinocchipines, Pinocchipines,
can't we close this show?
If we don't let down our guards,
we may just never know.

© Treava Tijerina 06/30/04

I would like to thank David Johns for the idea behind this poem.
Brother David, it has been a pleasure to hear you speak. You have truly given me many eye-opening truths over the last several weeks. God bless you tremendously for the kindness and understanding you are so readily willing to pour out on others. May it be returned to you many, many times over.


Member Comments
Member Date
Lucian Thompson08/23/04
Fun! And with no strings attached.
Sheila Boyd08/23/04
But, my dearest Pinocchio,
at least I am real.
If you could get passed my quills,
you'd see that I can feel.

Doesn’t this describe many people? I took it as a challenge to try harder to get past rough exteriors and see the real person beneath
Norma OGrady08/23/04
You dance for me. You play for me.
You act out the parts.
Who are you behind the wood?
Do wooden boys have hearts?
This is such a wonderful poem
enjoyed it very much
Yeshua bless you
Melanie Kerr 08/24/04
A lovely poem that expresses desire for closeness and intimacy - something we all long for.
Phyllis Inniss 08/25/04
This is a lovely poem. There is something so clean and fresh about it.
L.M. Lee08/25/04
this was absolutely wonderfully creative!
Roberta Kittrell08/26/04
What depth! It is too great to have what I believe is an error to remain uncorrected.

But, my dearest Pinocchio,
at least I am real.
If you could get passed my quills,
you'd see that I can feel.

Don't you mean, "If you could get past my quills....?
Joyce Poet08/26/04
No, Roberta, that was meant to be a statement and not a question. But I appreciate your input. Thank you, and all of you for that matter, for your kind critique.
Mary Elder-Criss08/27/04
What a great piece. I don't know enough about poetry to critique your form, but your words really touched my soul. Thanks for sharing. Mary
Joyce Poet08/27/04
Oh, my goodness, Roberta! Don't I feel foolish?! I thought you were referring to punctuation and you were referring to passed vs. past. Yes, I do believe it could stand looking at a little closer. Thank you. And bless you!