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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Breaking the Rules (08/16/04)

TITLE: Forgiven
By Amy Collins
08/16/04

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A knock sounded at my door, and I raised my head off my pillow from where I lay. Dazed, I called an “I’m busy”. The door opened anyway. It was my old friend, here to talk. I didn’t want too.
“I’ve missed you.” He said, looking into my eyes with love.
“I’ve been busy.” I layed my head back on my pillow, the room was spinning.
“Do you want to talk about something?”
“Like what?” A sickening feeling was beginning to form in my heart. Guilt.
“Your problems maybe? I know you have some things you need off your chest. Come on, I can help. I wont let you down.”
“I don’t have any problems, just leave me alone.” I rolled over so my back was to my friend, my face to the wall.
“I know you’ve been behind on your schoolwork, you don’t talk to your old friends anymore-and you’ve been skipping church and youth group a lot.” He said, His voice still full of love.
“So? Who cares anymore? My family hates me, my friends hate me-even you hate me.”
“I don’t know how to hate. Do you understand what hate means?” I didn’t answer, so He went on. “Hate is when you dislike someone so much that you wish them to go to hell. I would never want you, My son, to have to spend eternity with Satan. Now I know you’ve broken a lot of rules that your parents and I have set for you-but they can be forgiven if you just ask Me.”
I laughed. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”
“Yes, I do. I see it all;what you do, what you don’t do, what you wish you didn’t do. I see how it affects you-inside and out, and I see how it affects the people around you. And it does affect them. I see the way your parents hurt, the way your friends long to have you back. I see the way your youth pastor prays for you every night, and the way your ex-girlfriend crys herself to sleep for your sake.
“I see it, I hear it, and now I am here to act apon it. I am asking you to come to Me.”
I turned over to face Him, tears in my eyes. “I know my actions affect people, I know why not to break the rules-and yet I do them anyway. Why don’t you help me?”
“I try, but you reject me. The guilt you feel isn’t from me-I didn’t make guilt, Satan did. But I am here to take away that guilt, to lift your burdens and make you feel pure again. Come to Me, Come to Me.” He stretched out His arms, and I slowly stood up to go to Him.
The embrasse was amazing as tears flowed down my cheeks.
“You are now forgiven for breaking My rules. Your guilt has been wiped away. I am asking you to not break them again-for they do cause problems, for you, your family, and your friends. But I will be there to help you through it all. Simply call on Me, I am always there waiting.”
“Time for dinner!” My mom yelled to me from the kitchen.
“I have to go, but thanks, God.” I said, wiping away a tear.
“Any time.” He hugged me one more time before I left.


Member Comments
Member Date
darlene hight08/23/04
Good reminder we are all lawbreakers.
Sheila Boyd08/23/04
Strong beginning, good concept, the ending left me a bit hollow feeling, whatever that means. I know forgiveness frees us, and you expressed this well, but the way he just left God in his room to go eat dinner was almost callus. Would he not rather bask in the peace and joy of that freedom for some time before leaving God’s presence?
Melanie Kerr 08/23/04
I liked the way that you pictured God. It took me a while to catch on. Lots of deep truths to feast upon.
Kenny Paul Clarkson08/23/04
Powerfully written!

Don't take the critcs too seriously. Your article was phenomenal!
Mary Elder-Criss08/24/04
Amy, your dialogue was good. It took me a few minutes to figure out who was talking with the boy, but that's o.k. The only suggestion I have is to insert breaks into your piece. It's very hard on the eyes reading it as it is formatted. (Especially when you have old eyes like me, lol) Looking forward to reading more of your work. BLessings~Mary
Lucian Thompson08/24/04
Amy, that was powerful and inspiring. Thanks!
Roberta Kittrell08/25/04
Excellent grasp on our lives and how God regards us. However, a few editorial changes would help its flow. See below:
A knock sounded at my door, and I raised my head off my pillow. Dazed, I called an “I’m busy”. The door opened anyway. It was my old Friend, here to talk. I didn’t want to.

“I’ve missed you.” He said, looking into my eyes with love.

“I’ve been busy.” I laid my head back on my pillow, the room was spinning.

“Do you want to talk about something?”

“Like what?” A sickening feeling was beginning to form in my heart. Guilt.

“Your problems, maybe? I know you have some things you need off your chest. Come on, I can help. I won’t let you down.”

“I don’t have any problems, just leave me alone.” I rolled over so my back was to my Friend, my face to the wall.

“I know you’ve been behind on your schoolwork, you don’t talk to your old friends anymore, and you’ve been skipping church and youth group a lot.” He said, His voice still full of love.

“So? Who cares anymore? My family hates me, my friends hate me-even you hate me.”

“I don’t know how to hate. Do you understand what hate means?” I didn’t answer, so He went on. “Hate is when you dislike someone so much that you wish them to go to hell. I would never want you, My son, to have to spend eternity with Satan. Now I know you’ve broken a lot of rules that your parents and I have set for you--but they can be forgiven if you just ask Me.”

I laughed. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“Yes, I do. I see it all; what you do, what you don’t do, what you wish you didn’t do. I see how it affects you--inside and out, and I see how it affects the people around you. And it does affect them. I see the way your parents hurt, the way your friends long to have you back. I see the way your youth pastor prays for you every night, and the way your ex-girlfriend cries herself to sleep for your sake. I see it, I hear it, and now I am here to act upon it. I am asking you to come to Me.”

I turned over to face Him, tears in my eyes. “I know my actions affect people, I know why not to break the rules--and yet I do them anyway. Why don’t you help me?”

“I try, but you reject me. The guilt you feel isn’t from me. I didn’t make guilt, Satan did. But I am here to take away that guilt, to lift your burdens and make you feel pure again. Come to Me, Come to Me.” He stretched out His arms, and I slowly stood up to go to Him.
The embrace was amazing as tears flowed down my cheeks.

“You are now forgiven for breaking My rules. Your guilt has been wiped away. I am asking you to not break them again--for they do cause problems, for you, your family, and your friends. But I will be there to help you through it all. Simply call on Me, I am always there waiting.”

“Time for dinner!” My mom yelled to me from the kitchen.

“I have to go, but thanks, God.” I said, wiping away a tear.

“Any time.” He hugged me one more time before I left.
L.M. Lee08/26/04
oh how sweet & what an intimate moment with God is like.
Linda Germain 08/28/04
I don't know what age you are, my dear, but you have powerful insight! I agree about more white space for us old geezers, but the content is WONDERFUL. Very good job.