Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Breaking the Rules (08/16/04)

TITLE: O! Dee Dee!
By David Ian


(PREFACE: Sorry y'all for not having something warm and fuzzy or funny and comic. But this is my response to a very tragic incident -- something you usually read about happening elsewhere -- not within your close circle of friends. I guess it's therapy to keep me from putting my fist through a wall or going on a rampage with a 2x4. Again, apologies.)

O! Dee Dee
(To the tune of Tommie Roe's "Sweet Pea")

By David Ian

O! Dee Dee,
Won’t you be with me?
Won’t you? Won’t you? Won’t you
Be with me?

O! Dee Dee
Come on my little girl!
Come on! Come on! Come on
And be my girl!

I met a young girl just the other night,
Everyone frowned and said it didn’t seem right
She was seventeen and still going to high school
And I was thirty-three and ignored all the rules

O! Dee Dee,
Won’t you break the rules?
Won’t you? Won’t you? Won’t you
Break the rules?

I took her out to gaze at the stars up above
And then I convinced her that we were in love
I said she was mature enough so what is the fuss?
But keep it from her parents it’s a secret for us

Dee Dee,
Keep it secret for me!
Keep it! Keep it secret
For me

I had a little problem with my nagging wife
I forced her from the house now she’s outta my life
Now it is a cozy nest since no one is there
Why don’t you come over and we’ll make us a pair?

Dee Dee,
Come over and see me!
Come on, come on, come over
And see me!

Now my stepdaughter’s coming home from school,
She can live with us and we can break some more rules
And then we’ll be happy in our house with us three
And all of your girlfriends can visit with me

Dee Dee
Come on and live with me!
Come on, Come on, Come on
And live with me!

But now the men in blue are taking me away
Because I didn’t wait until your next birthday
But by the time I see the judge you’ll be okay
And you can set me free with no price to pay

Dee Dee!
Why don’t you release me?
Come on, come on, come on
And free me!

Dee Dee,
Why don’t you just agree?
Come on, come on come on
And just agree!

Come on, come on come on
And just agree!

Member Comments
Member Date
J. C. Lamont08/23/04
Writing poetry or lyrics are always a good form a therapy...I use it often. It always hits close when something like that happens to people you know and sometimes there isn't any other outlet.
Glenn A. Hascall08/23/04

You warned me - you told me to wait - so I did. This is an intriguing way to share a painful memory. Memorable - heart-wrenching - rule breaking - passionate. You said it needed to be written - it is obvious it did. The pain of such deception is enormous. Therapy, yes - but we needed to read it too. -- Glenn
darlene hight08/23/04
David this is a hard one!Nothing worse than someone taking advantage of innocence and youth. If anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble it would better for them to have a millstone tied to their neck and thrown into the river.
Sheila Boyd08/23/04
I think I remember Sweet Pea, but not enough to sing along with your words. However, you have chosen a very symbolic song here. I am impressed. I am somewhat confused with the storyline, you ran your wife off, you and Dee Dee would make a pair, but then you have a stepdaughter and that makes three. Inviting more teenage girls over…sounds like a lot more therapy is needed here.
David Ian08/23/04

Normally I don't respond to comments and allow them to speak for themselves, but I felt this was very important to answer. First of all, this is not autobiographical, even though the piece is written in first person. A close fried is the culprit. I absolutely adore the step daughter, and as we have no children of our own, she is the closest I have to my own child. The principal victim in the story I also had a sympathetic heart for as she had some tough barriers to overcome in life. Unfortunately, she turned to her closest father figure for attention who in turn perverted the entire relationship. The therapy mentioned is to keep me from visting violence upon some monster who has forever shattered the lives of many, many people, and especially two kids I feel especially protective over. I have not seen his face since I learned of the incident... I do not trust myself -- yet.
--David Ian
Melanie Kerr 08/23/04
I am not familiar with the song. My neice who is just sixteen had just broken up with her boyfriend of thirty five so I could kind of relate - only kind of. It does help to find a way of expressing deep feelings. I never thought for once that it was autobiographical!
Kenny Paul Clarkson08/23/04
Ok, Ian. You're showing your age!

Sweet Pea was a hit when I was in high school (1968-71).

By the way, your article was creative and very well written.

(Don't let the critics knock you off course.. I'll be looking forward to more good stuff from you next week!)
Mary Elder-Criss08/24/04
David, First of all, I'm so sorry for this tragedy that has hit close to home. My sister and I were just talking yesterday about people that prey on anyone that is vulnerable. Your pain shows through clearly in this piece. Sometimes the very best writing comes from depths of pain. Warm and fuzzy has its place, but so does hard hitting and realistic. Praying for all involved. Blessings~Mary
Sheila Boyd08/24/04
Not a critic. My apologies to everyone, the therapy I suggested was for the offender. I can relate to the anger at this outrage. I was 13.
Kenny Paul Clarkson08/24/04
PS - You got my vote!
Lucian Thompson08/24/04
The subject matter you address is the saddest blight on the Christian community today. Yes, incest, pornography, and all forms of child abuse are inundating the Christian community today! Our children are being sold a lie that you can be a Christian and show “THIS KIND OF LOVE!” The Church must wake up and drive this debauchery from our midst. Thanks for addressing such a difficult situation.
L.M. Lee08/25/04
You know, it is so sad this really happens.

I have 2 cousins my age. They both were dating men twice their age when we were 18. BUT these guys were Christians and treated them with the upmost respect. Both of them married these guys and have wonderful marriages and families. At the time I thought they were nuts for "breaking" the rules...but for them it was right.

UNFORTUNATELY, my cousins are the exceptions!
Annette Bury08/25/04
Writing is a good form of therapy - Good piece - Keep writing.
Roberta Kittrell08/25/04
David, I can feel and share in your anguish and rage. I know of one lass of 12 years who was deflowered by her own father. Yet what did he receive--5 years in prison.

But, David, we must remember that the Lord said, "Vengeance is Mine."

I served for over 15 years as a volunteer chaplain in county jails and in prisons. Whenever I spiritually counseled an inmate, I
asked not to be told the charge. While I knew Jesus' Blood covers all sin and that He died as much for the prisoner as He did for me, I knew I could slip up, yielding the desire to judge.
Gary Sims08/28/04
David - Even writers sometimes have a loss for words - especially in situations such as this. I sense that the need to write this poem/song has not quelled the anger within. It is probably safe to say that nothing will fix what was done.

I agree with Roberta - it is difficult, yet important, to leave vengeance and retribution to God. Instead, focusing on loving those who have been hurt and showing them what God's love is all about is the best thing you can do. Try writing something for them that helps them feel God's love.

I am voting for your piece because of the passion and maybe, just maybe, it will be read by someone about to break these rules and will cause them to stop. May God's peace fill your heart. - Gary
Roberta Kittrell08/29/04
David, I am thanking the Lord for Gary's comments. Do prayerfully try to implement his advice. Bobbi
Dee Yoder 07/05/07
David, this is powerful and emotional. I went to your profile page after I saw your link on the message boards because I realized I hadn't read many of your articles. This story stood out to me, for obvious reasons, when I scanned the list. Wow! I think as a writer your work SHOULD reflect what's happening in your life sometimes and this story, though topically tragic, is beautifully written. The message is strong and clear.