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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Breaking the Rules (08/16/04)

TITLE: THEN CAME THE RAIN
By Kenny Paul Clarkson
08/16/04

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“What you doin’?”

Japheth lifted his axe for one final blow.

“Stand back. You’ll get hurt.”

The boy heeded his advice and backed a few paces to safety’s edge.

The towering tree wrenched from its resting place and thundered to the forest floor.

Japheth turned to look into curious brown eyes. “I’m cutting timber.” The answer was obvious.

“You building a house?” the lad wondered. “Must be a mighty big house. You cut down enough trees for a hundred barns.”

Japheth slung the axe over his shoulder and neared the little boy.

“Not a house. A boat. I’m building a boat.”

“Oh.”

He turned to walk to the next tree previously marked by his father as suitable for timber. The boy followed.

“What’s a boat?’

Japheth laughed. “A boat is a…” he had to think. How does one describe a sea-faring vessel to a little boy who has never seen anything larger than a canoe?

“A boat is like a building that floats on the water.” He was satisfied with his answer.

The boy was not.

“Must be a lotta water for a boat that big. Where’s the water gonna come from?”

God will provide, Japheth thought, would make a suitable answer. But would it raise more questions than it answered?

“You’ll see.”

Decades passed. The boat was built according to precise measurements. But there was still no water. A monument for ridicule, the capacious ark stood stark against the desert plain. The little boy — now a grown man in his own right —still wondered, where will the water come from?

“Time to board,” Noah finally announced. Solemn expressions graced the countenance of every face. His family knew there was no turning back.

The sounds and odors of a world of God’s creation filled the hollow of the vessel. “A hundred barns.” Japheth recalled the words of the little boy as he entered the ark. The door closed securely.

Then came the rain.

The peal of thunder was deafening; like nothing they had ever heard. Lightening streaked through cloud-blackened skies.

Blinding sheets of gray poured from the open heavens. Japheth climbed a rickety ladder to peer out the window hewn at the boat’s peak. The sight would have caused fear in the heart of any man, were it not for the safety of the ark.

It was then that he felt the strong hand of his grown son firmly grasp his shoulder. Together they watched as torrents overwhelmed the landscape.

“You were right,” he said to his father. “I’ll see where the water comes from.”


Member Comments
Member Date
Sheila Boyd08/23/04
This story sounds familiar…It was a good story, good dialogue, but I didn’t see this week’s topic.
darlene hight08/23/04
Nice entry!
Kenny Paul Clarkson08/23/04
By going against the status quo, Noah and his family "broke the rules."

The lesson: To live godly lives we must often break the rules of what is considered socially acceptable, etc.
Melanie Kerr 08/23/04
I suppose there was also the sense of breaking the rules of common sense. There was not logical point in bulding an ark when there was no water. Good dialogue.
Norma OGrady08/23/04
Lots of people have broken the rules in the Bible
That's why God could used them...the rule of "the impossible being possible" and believing it.
I thought that we were to use the topic words in our story.
I guess it doesn't matter.
Great writing
Yeshua bless
Roger Crane08/24/04
Kenny, you had so much potential going for you with the way you set up this story! But, it left me disapointed. Like others, I had to fill in with my own assumptions--too much left out, including the theme. Nice dialogue and the narrative moved along smoothly. This was an awful time in history, but I get no sense of the consequences of breaking the rules--on the part of the boy/man or Japheth who witnessed it. Keep writing, but work on meaning! --RC
Kenny Paul Clarkson08/24/04
There was a tear in his eye.

An eerie glow from the monitor filled the room. The dull hum of the hard drive echoed the dank feeling that haunted in his soul.

“They don’t love me anymore.” The whisper called a lonely tear to trickle down his cheek and tumble to the keyboard. “The faithwriters.com readers don’t love me anymore!”

He began weep.

SERIOUSLY — It’s nice to know there are honest people who will tell you when you blow it.
Lucian Thompson08/24/04
Telling these Bible stories can be rough, can’t it, Ken. I was with you all the way!
Joanne Malley08/24/04
Kenny-You certainly didn't "blow it!"
Often when we write, we as writers, know exactly what we are thinking in our heads, but don't exactly convey it clear enough to the reader. It happens to me quite often when I go back and proof read or critique my own article. I often then see what's obvious to me, is perhaps not always obvious to the reader. So, there I go again re-writing, re-adjusting, etc., etc!
Now that you explained how this fits the topic, it makes sense!
Well-written as always, though! You're strong with dialog. :)
Annette Bury08/25/04
Kenny, you didn't blow it! It flows, kept my attention, and you have a true talent with writing dialogue. Keep writing!
L.M. Lee08/25/04
another excellent take on the lives of Biblical characters.
John Hunt08/25/04
Very enjoyable read.
Roberta Kittrell08/25/04
Very strong. Very descriptive. Kenny, I could visualize the whole story as it unfolded until the end. I searched Genesis 9 and 10. There is mention of Noah and his wife and of his three sons and their wives. For some reason, there is no mention of any children until after the flood dried off.

As I was reading the story, I guess that the boy grew up with all the ridiculers. I wonder what would have happened had Japheth told him about God and he had heeded. Would he have been among the left behind? Another thought--if Adam had owned up to his state of sin when the Lord asked him where he was and repented, would things have been different?
Roberta Kittrell08/25/04
Oops! I made a typo in the comment above. The word should have been "guessed." Proves we're all human.
Linda Germain 08/28/04
KC, Some of the most terrific writing is read between the lines! I love your style. (Think back to High School English and how the teacher had to take Shakespear line -by- line and explain what it REALLY meant! :0)
It is fun to reason out a story, even look up a word to be sure of its meaning (at least I have to!) Ya' done good, Gov!! lg

Lynda Munfrada08/29/04
Very picturesque and WOWZA! what a grip on dialogue! Great job!


   
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