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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Bullies (08/09/04)

TITLE: As The Toilet Swirls
By Dan Blankenship
08/15/04

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Fear can be immobilizing. And to little Jimmy Pelam, fear played that that role quite well. He was frozen against his locker. His breath came in short spurts and he felt lightheaded. Gregg Brazenbam was coming his way. Less than twenty steps separated the two twelve-year-olds, one the size of any average sixth-grader, and one bigger than an NFL linebacker. Jimmy was hungry today. He needed his lunch money, and he was sure BrazenBully, as the normal-sized kids called him, could skip a double up meal. He decided to run for it.

Jimmy took off like an Olympic sprinter, dodging fellow classmates as he tried to put a few obstacles between King Kong and him. A few kids laughed at the comical chase scene on display. But Jimmy was terrified. He knew the bully would be twice as mad now. He was having to work too hard for his reward and so the payment would need to be increased. Jimmy knew this as well as he knew which direction toilet water spins, and how it can swirl a person’s hair into a curly-cue. He knew that much to well – from the last time he had tried to get away.

It was then he noticed the bully’s voice, calling him, repeatedly. Jimmy found that odd. Not because the bully was calling him. That wasn’t strange at all. It was strange that BrazenBully was calling out to him by using his actual name instead of the usual, Pencil-Neck Pelam.

Suddenly, Jimmy felt a hand grab his arm. It was a teacher, Mr. Haddleham, to be exact. He was holding onto Jimmy tight and ordered Gregg Brazenbam to stop in his tracks.

It was the craziest thing, but before Mr. Haddleham had a chance to let the boys have an earful, Gregg began to speak.

“I know what your thinking Mr. Haddleham. You think I’m chasing Jimmy to try and hurt him.”

Jimmy was sure the whole world knew that.

“Well, Mr. Haddleham, I was chasing Jimmy to try and give him this envelope.”

“Envelope?” Mr. Haddleham was as confused as little Jimmy Pelam.

Gregg continued, “I’ve been pickin’ on Jimmy for three months now. Well, the pastor at my church showed us a video on bullying and that made me realize how wrong what I was doing was. I felt really bad about all the lunch money I took from Jimmy. I think I even put some bruises on him a few times.”

Gregg handed Jimmy the envelope, and Jimmy quickly opened it and stared at the seventy-five dollars. He even managed to crack a smile at BrazenBully, now the ex-bully.

“Wow, Gregg, that is great! I am so glad you’ve had a change of heart. But how did you get the money to pay Jimmy back?” Mr. Haddleham asked.

“Oh, that was easy. I just stole it from the offering plate when no one was looking.”


Member Comments
Member Date
darlene hight08/16/04
Tooo Funny! My son was a great one for giving swirlies so I knew instantly by the title that this involved one. Great punchline.
Dan Blankenship 08/16/04
Is it too late to fix two items? I have two "that"s next to each other and I was supposed to use the word "too" and I used to. Ooooooops. I even checked it like fifty times. That's what I get for waiting unitl early Monday morning to put something together.

Dan
Dian Moore08/16/04
Loved the title and the story. The punch line is too funny.
Kenny Paul Clarkson08/16/04
Nice touch of humor. And the title? Great attention getter!
Dori Knight08/16/04
this was wonderful dan! truly wonderful. thanks!
Sandra Perry08/17/04
I like the ending twist!
L.M. Lee08/19/04
what a great punch line
Lynne Gaunt08/19/04
Entertaining article. Funny ending. I enjoyed it. Good writing!
Joanne Malley08/19/04
Such fun, entertaining reading!
Mary Elder-Criss08/19/04
From the title to the closing line, wonderful. Thanks so much for this humorous piece.
Deborah Anderson08/22/04
LOL Great story with a wonderful punch line at the end! Thank you and God bless.
Amy Michelle Wiley 12/26/05
Hehe, great story!
Kaylee Blake 08/10/09
What an adorable twist! I was just looking over your profile and noticed the title to this old challenge entry...very cute!


   
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