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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Bullies (08/09/04)

TITLE: Sheer Cowardice
By Bella Louise
08/13/04

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The scene is set. A man sits in the courtroom. He is innocent of any crime, but the jury have condemned him anyway. They see something in him that they hate, that draws attention to their own intense inferiority. A long time before they even held the trial, the sentence had already been decided upon. The jury and the judge both realize that the condemned man is completely in the right. Everything about him puts them to shame.
The jury are acting out of malice and hate, and also sheer cowardice. The man sitting there is a political prisoner. The people are beginning to turn to his way for life, a total opposite to the current beliefs. The age of tyranny, legalism and absolute power is in danger, and the jury are at the top of the hierarchy. Their positions are threatened. They can’t bear to lose their beloved powerful status.
The judge is acting out of peer pressure. He is worried what people will think of him if he doesn’t go along with the crowd. He doesn’t really believe the man sitting before him should be punished. In fact, in his heart he would prefer to have nothing to do with this mockery of a trial. He, too, is worried about losing his position. He ignores the internal battle inside him. Although everything inside him screams to set the condemned man free, he bangs his hammer. ‘Death by crucifixion.’


Member Comments
Member Date
Dian Moore08/16/04
Your story would be much more powerful if you showed us what happened, instead of telling us. For example, give the people something to do and say, describe the surroundings, show them being cowardly.
darlene hight08/16/04
Excellent take on the theme! Keep writing for the glory of God.I agree with Dian a little more show and a little less tell but that is what makes these challenges so great they really will help to refine your skills if you keep at it.Blessings.
Kenny Paul Clarkson08/17/04
Excellent concept.
Anthony David08/19/04
Original idea. Well developed. Good show Hannah!
Randy Chambers08/20/04
I like the concept too, and also where I felt like you were taking me. I got the impression that your entire story would be good to work with (tighten it up, do more of the show, draw me in), and turn it into an introductory paragraph to a larger story. The ‘Death by crucifixion,’ statement felt like it would make a real good spring board into the next paragraph. I would be anxious to see what you might come up with.
L.M. Lee08/21/04
good piece. I don't think anyone took this approach this week. very good!