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Start with a newborn child and add the following ingredients and actions until your bully is fully created.
Set aside several years to complete all the steps required.
Pre-heat derogatory word ingredients designed to destroy self-esteem. Depending on the strength of the bully you wish to create, adjust the amount of ingredients and the amount of stirring to taste:
For a weak bully, choose only 1-3 ingredients and actions.
A medium to tart bully requires the use of 4-6 ingredients and actions.
For those who enjoy the burning-hot bullies, choose all of the following ingredients and actions. Note to cook: This type of bully requires the addition of curse words.
Suggested Ingredient List (Substitutions of equal value are allowed): Stupid, Idiot, Reject, Dork, Retard, Ugly, Fat, Porky, Dough-boy, Four-Eyes, Weirdo, Sicko. Any type of ethnic slur is also acceptable. Curse words enhance the flavor. Feel free to be creative.
Cooking Instructions:
Stir chosen words into a pot of turmoil and strife.
Tenderize your bully by beating it. This allows all ingredients to be fully absorbed.
Verbal abuse and spitting will increase the intensity of flavor.
Do not acknowledge cries for help from the bully. Turn your head and think of it as a lobster being boiled alive. It will still taste good in the end.
Shout angrily at the cooking bully.
DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT, hug, kiss, or in any way show affection to the bully.
Ignore tears. They are a ruse designed by the bully to stop its own creation.
DO NOT provide a warm, accepting atmosphere for the bully. Doing so will spoil the recipe.
Totally ignore the growing bully. This will enhance its attention-getting value.
Let the forming bully watch you pick on, insult, curse, shout or otherwise behave obnoxiously towards other people. This will allow the recipe to set.
Bake from birth to whatever age you feel like giving up on the recipe. The time will be obvious, as the bully will continue to ferment on its own.
Suggested Serving Ideas:
Send the bully to a place where there are children weaker than the bully. The successful bully will immediately pick these children to harass, frighten, beat-up and call names.
Encourage the bully to take no crap from anyone.
Blame the bully for everything.
Encourage insecurity
Do serve with low self-esteem
What to Do if the Recipe Fails:
If you skipped any of the above ingredients and/or instructions on making a bully, then your recipe might turn out to be a victim instead. This is fine.
Victims enhance the bullys presentation. The two compliment each other, like milk and cookies. Victims can also be made with the above ingredients. Feel free to experiment.
If the above recipe is too hard to make, try making dessert instead:
Love the newborn with soft words, encouragement, praise and lots of hugs.
Teach the newborn about Jesus and how to treat others like it wants to be treated.
Build a nurturing atmosphere around the newborn that is safe and warm.
Have other family members offer love and companionship to the newborn.
Teach the newborn how to deal with feelingsinclude techniques to recognize and deal with anger, frustration, fright, sadness, and embarrassment.
Encourage the child to share, be kind to others, and to say please and thank you.
Offer unconditional love and forgiveness when the child makes a mistake.
Teach the child to learn from his mistakes.
Pray constantly for the salvation of the child.
Enjoy.
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