The Prom was tomorrow. I sat forlorn in our room in the hostel. My roommate Maggie had gone out to shop. She was getting ready for tomorrow. Daniel, the tall and handsome fellow, had invited her. Even the dark and plain Jennie got an invite from Chris.
But me, no one, not a single fellow thought it worthwhile to call me. I sat alone disheveled and depressed on the sofa. I sobbed as I thought, “ I am a worthless girl. Not even one fellow called me for the Prom. No one cares for me.” Tears began to flow and stain my cheeks as I sat. “Why oh why has this happened? Am I that ugly? Am I so unlovable? Is my life worth living?”
Dark and ugly thoughts buzzed noisily into my head. I got up and walked out of the room, to clear my thoughts.
I started walking as fast as my legs could carry me. But I had no destination. I didn’t care. Why should I? A raging madness took over me as I mindlessly put one foot after another, in a mad hurry.
I had reached the riverside. The cool waters as they flowed past were lapping the sandy shore. I kicked off my heels and let the moist sand play through my toes as I found a rock to squat.
The sun was setting and its orange hue was slowly melting away into the gloomy darkness. Just like how I feel now, I thought. “You are worthless. You are worthless.” The thought continued to ring into my mind as an incessant audiotape.
Just then, a sparrow flew and perched on a tree nearby. It seemed to have had a good day. It appeared to smile as it began to settle down, content into its nest.
As I sat gazing at it, I thought I heard a voice. “You are worth much more than this sparrow. Yes you are. To Me.”
“Lord are you talking to me? Me, worthless as I am?” I whispered.
“Yes, my dear Anita. I love you. I care for you. I know you by your name. I have created you and redeemed you. You are worth mush more than the sparrow you saw. And as you saw, I don’t neglect sparrows. Why should I neglect you? I love you so much that I sent my Son, my Only Begotten Son to die on the cross for you. Take heart dear child and smile. Wipe your tears away. Go out and help others.”
Tears continued to cascade down my cheeks. But this time they were tears of joy! “ I am of worth to my Heavenly Father.” I shouted aloud as I slipped into my heels.
My heart was light and so were my feet as I traipsed along. The room was dark but as I entered, I heard someone sobbing. “Who is that?” I shouted into the darkness as I flipped the light switch.
“Oh have you come back Anita! It’s me Maggie.” Sobbed my roommate. “That creep Daniel. He called me up just now to say that he’s calling it off. He has some one else for tomorrow it seems. I’m shattered. I don’t feel like living anymore….” She shuddered as sobs overtook her.
I went close to her and hugged her. I wiped off her tears and said, “Look Maggie. There is Someone who loves you truly and surely. He is an Unchanging One. His love is worth more than anything. For Him, you are of worth….”
As I continued to share what happened with Maggie, I could see the beginnings of a smile on her face.
“Thank you Lord for caring. I know you care for me, for Maggie and for all of us here on earth. I know that I am not worthless.” I whispered.
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© 2004 : Dr.M.A.David S Kumar