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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Fishing (06/07/04)

TITLE: Hook 'em, then set 'em free!
By Lynda Lee Schab
06/11/04

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"You gonna eat that, Rocky?" asked Gil.

"No way! Look up at the light. See that shiny silver thing up there? That's a boat. That aint some ordinary worm dangling there. If you look real close, it's attached to a hook thingy. The second you bite down…YOW! Besides, us Rock Bass prefer night crawlers. Lots more meat, ya know what I mean?"

"Hmm. So why are you just floating here staring at it?"

"I'm not staring at it, I'm guarding it. Make sure no one falls for the worm-on-the-hook trick. I haven't been travelin' in a school for nothin'. Gotta do somethin' with what I've learned."

"Looks tasty," said Gil.

"Maybe if you're lucky, the worm will wiggle enough on that hook that a piece will break off. That happens, I'll give you the honors."

"Thanks," Gil smiled.

"Oh -oh. Here comes BM. He's a pretty mean large-mouth. He likes crawlers too but if he feels like a snack…you might not get your worm after all. BM knows how to get em off the poker without getting' caught. 'Course he won't let anyone in on the secret of how he does it. It's an art, he says. Hmph. He'll find out what art is real soon when he's hung on the wall somewhere, stuffing popping out of his eyes."

"I don't want to be around when BM goes after that worm," said Gil.

"Stick around, Gil. Watch and learn."

"What will happen to BM if he gets caught on that hook? Will he die and go to heaven?"

Rocky chuckled. "Fish heaven would be anywhere BM aint."

"What's going on?" BM bellowed.

"N-nothing," Gil said, gliding back a bit.

"Just hangin' out, BM!" said Rocky.

BM slid his face into Rocky's. "How many times have I told you NOT to call me BM? It's insulting!"

Rocky didn't back down. "It suits you though, don't ya think? BM could stand for lots of things: 'Bald Man', 'Bass Man', 'Big Mouth'...." He shot a sideways grin at Gil, who floated motionless a couple feet away.

BM narrowed his eyes and turned toward Gil. "What are YOU looking at?" he demanded.

Gil retreated behind a hunk of seaweed.

BM turned and noticed the worm. He swam around and circled it a couple of times. "Watch this," he said, obviously showing off.

BM took a nibble at the bottom of the worm and a little chunk broke off. BM swallowed it and Gil, peeking through the weed, frowned, waving goodbye inside to his supper. BM burped loudly, then went back for more.

"Uh - BM, be careful," Rocky warned. "That hook is pretty sharp. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy - and that means you."

Something went wrong and the hook suddenly jerked upwards, catching BM in the side of the head. He was snagged! BM flailed his body around, trying to get loose. But it was no use. He was caught! Rocky and Gil watched as BM got dragged further and further toward the light and the shiny silver boat on top of the water. "Help! Help! Please!" BM called.

Just when BM was almost to the bottom of the boat, Rocky swam up and pulled the fishing line around the anchor rope. The line snapped and BM was set free, although the hook still stuck in the side of his head.

The moment BM realized he was free, he turned and lit into Rocky. "I could've saved myself! I didn't need your help!"

"You're welcome," said Rocky, a little stung. After all, he had just saved his life!

BM swam away, swearing under his breath.

"Wow. He sure didn't appreciate what you did," stated Gil, swimming to Rocky's side.

"Unfortunately, my friend, BM's pride overruled common sense. But with that hook stuck in him, at least he'll always be reminded of the fact that I helped him out when he was in trouble. And one day when he really wants to be saved, it's my name he'll be callin'."


"And I will make you fishers of men…" Matthew 4:19


Lynda Schab


Member Comments
Member Date
Corinne Smelker 06/14/04
OK, you got me "hooked"! This one is a winner in my book!

Well done - what a creative twist on a theme that could get tiring!
gillian liversedge06/14/04
That was great- I really wasn't sure where you were going until the end, but you had me hooked all the way!
Karen Treharne06/14/04
Well done Linda. You have my vote on a very cute children's story, but maybe not small kids who may not get the subtle meanings. Loved the style and the dialogue as well as your use of fish to reflect out ultimate need to turn to and be grateful to our Lord for all He does for us, whether we realize it or not.
Deborah Porter 06/15/04
Another excellent entry Lynda. Very well told and the message definitely got across. Well done. With love, Deb
Carol Winebarger06/15/04
Very good. I really like the twist you put on this.
Mary Elder-Criss06/15/04
This was great. I think you are the only one who has told it from the fish's side of the story. I loved all of it, your dialogue between the fish was great, reminded me of Marlin and Dory in Finding Nemo...I love stuff like this. Your closing was excellent as well. You have one of my votes for sure!
Marie B. Corso06/15/04
Very well written. Good story. Good application.
Lynne Gaunt06/15/04
Well done. Very enjoyable tail. I loved that one of your fish friends is named Gil. Keep it up!
Lynne Gaunt06/15/04
Oops. I mean "tale" not "tail"! LOL, I've been reading too many fish stories!!
Linda Miller06/16/04
Wow Lynda - wonderful, delightful story. I enjoyed every word of it. Keep writing!
Melanie Kerr 06/17/04
Brilliant. It could have been a scene out of "Finding Nemo". The dailogue was very good. You manged to comvey the characters of each of the fish.
L.M. Lee06/17/04
taking it from a different perspective. nice job!
Beth Muehlhausen06/22/05
Just a little bit fishy......
Beth Muehlhausen06/22/05
Just a little bit fishy......