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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Fishing (06/07/04)

TITLE: Fishing for Compliments and Waiting with Baited Breath
By Stephanie Frelone
06/08/04

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Maurice Sturgeon's lips folded themselves into a pout as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror. She tilted her head in the direction of the bathroom.

"Honey, I don't like this dress. It makes me look FAT."

Rod strode out of the washroom and cast his wife an appraising glance.

"You look fine."

Maurice scowled.

"I look like a wrapped sausage."

"You look good enough to eat to me." Rod retreated back into the washroom like a turtle retreating in its shell. Maurice threw another glance at the mirror. Ugh. What had prompted her to buy this preposterous thing in the first place?

"Rod, I should've gotten the black dress. Black is more slimming. This salmon colour makes me look gross."

No answer.

"I look like a beached whale."

"I thought you said you look like a sausage. Does the sausage contain whale by-products?"

"I should legally change my name to Willy."

"Or you could change it to Diane and you could be the Princess of Whales."

Saltwater rose to her eyes.

"So that's what you think of me? I bought this dress for YOU, you know."

"You might want to take it back, dear. It's not my size."

Maurice flung herself onto their bed, blubbering into her pillow. Hesitantly, Rod emerged from the bathroom and sat down beside her. He patted her awkwardly. She jerked her shoulder away from his hand, her wails increasing in pitch.

"I'm sorry dear. I shouldn't have baited you like that."

Maurice looked up miserably.

"I just wanted you to tell me I look nice," she mumbled.

Rod shook his head in bewilderment.

"Then why didn't you ASK me how you looked?"

Maurice shrugged her shoulders. Rod grinned.

"If you really want to know how I think you look, just ask."

Maurice wiped her eyes, sniffled one last time, then wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"How do I look, Rod?"

Her husband smiled warmly.

"You look absolutely stunning. And I LOVE your dress."

Smiling tentatively, Maurice rose from the bed and brushed herself off.

"Then you don't think I look like a whale?"

Rod shook his head.

"Not one bit."

Maurice took his arm as they headed out the door.

"This was the last one they had in stock, you know,"

"Oh really? Talk about a FLUKE!"

"Dear...


Member Comments
Member Date
WENDY DECKER06/14/04
CUTE STORY AND WELL-WRITTEN. I LIKED YOUR HUMOR.
Mary Elder-Criss06/14/04
Ha ha. Boy, have I been here with my husband before. Funny stuff. Enjoyed your dialogue. Blessings! Mary
Corinne Smelker 06/14/04
I can't tell whether the title is a pun or not - "baited" is normally spelt "bated" when used in this context, but seeing the angle is fishing for the week, it works well to say baited breath!

Excellent use of dialogue and puns - and something that I think as women we are all to guilty of doing (at least I am!)
Melanie Kerr 06/15/04
Good use of dialogue to tell the story
gillian liversedge06/15/04
Yes, I also really related to this. We can too often expect our men to be mind readers! Then get all disappointed when things go wrong. I really enjoyed this- thanks.
Patricia Ouellette06/15/04
Great story and love your style. Read your story to my husband, and he is still giggling in the background.

Mirror mirror on the wall I dont like this reflection, oh not at all.

Yep I ditto the fact of been there done that. hehehe

Blessings in His Name
Marcell Billinghurst06/15/04
A good story, and very true of the way many of us feel at times. Good use of dialogue. Well done
Marcell Billinghurst06/15/04
A good story, and very true of the way many of us feel at times. Good use of dialogue. Well done
Leticia Caroccio06/16/04
I loved this one. You had me in stitches.

"Saltwater rose in her eyes". Loved this line. Great play on words throughout.

Brilliantly done.
Sarah Balk Bond06/17/04
GREAT JOB! I loved the title and heartfelt humor in this article. Thanks for a funny reminder that when we need something, to just ask!
Lynne Gaunt06/17/04
Wonderfully true to life and very funny. My favorite line: "Or you could change it to Diane and you could be the Princess of Whales." Ha!
Lynda Lee Schab 06/18/04
Great dialogue, great writing! I also loved the Princess of whales line! :) Very funny!
L.M. Lee06/18/04
this was wonderful and oh so true!
Cheryl Johnson06/23/04
Nicely done. I like your writing style. Cute, very cute!
Jacky Hughes06/24/04
Giggling away here....but the name Maurice is male in England so you may need to change that if you printed it in the UK as it was kind of confusing for me....I was looking for a very different story because of the name! But oh that thing of the dress......how I identify. Jacky
Lynda Schultz 05/03/06
I was attracted by the title. Lots of tension, but lots of great humour, revealed and hidden in this piece. Good job. Hope to see you again on the Challenge.