Lana, it's all true, but I felt as though I was gasping for breath by the time I was finished. In fact, it felt that way after just a couple of lines. You desperately need commas, full stops and new sentences a lot more than you already have (or all your readers will need oxygen by the end) :-)
As Kim wrote, it felt as though you were basically just quoting scripture and linking it all together. As a writer, I really think you need to develop what you're writing a lot more. After all, we already have the Bible. A writer needs to bring a fresh insight or teaching into what the Word of God already says.
I'll be very interested to read future challenge entries by you. I'm keen to see what YOU have to say. with love, Deb