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Topic: light (05/24/04)
By Leticia Caroccio
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Nightfall had fallen over me. I was living in darkness. There was no happiness in my life to speak of, no peace. My heart was beating, yet I was dying.
My life has always been one of turmoil. The fighting that was constantly going on in my home taught me to live in fear. Feelings of being unloved gripped my heart and I learned to live a very angry life. All of these feelings led to the consuming fury that took over my life.
For a long time I’ve known that what I needed could only come from above. I knew that no one on earth could help. I knew that God was the only one who would. So I ventured out to seek Him.
I visited many churches in my life. Yet, I never understood the love of God for me. His sacrifice for me never really made sense. I couldn’t grasp it - until January 2003.
It was a winter morning like any other in New York. The day was cold and dank and the skies were hinting of snow. I parked my car and went inside.
Upon entering the sanctuary, I realized that this would not be like any other church I’d ever been in. There was a sweet aroma that permeated the air. I was overcome with the realization that even the colors in this place were brighter than I had ever witnessed before. I looked to the windows expecting to see stained glass panes but, to my amazement, there were none. The sun was not peering in, as it was an overcast day. Still the temple was shinning bright as light was coming from an unknown source, casting its rays on the beautiful faces of those who were worshipping the Lord.
I waited for the minister to finish speaking. When he invited those who wanted to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, I quickly raised my hand. I wanted the peace and completeness that those around me seemed to have. I wanted to bask in the light of this Jesus. I gave my heart to the Lord that cold January morning.
The last year has been one of struggles and victories. The Lord began a work in me that has turned my life upside down. He cast His light into my heart and began exposing the hurt and anger at their roots. He began to heal my heart. During time, the Lord restored my relationship with my father. My parents, who were divorced, remarried. All the reasons that I had for living in anger and resentment were being painfully dealt with one by one. He was working in me with love and compassion. Miraculous things were taking place.
A few months ago, I was feeling very miserable. In spite of the mountain top experiences, I found myself in the valley. I was driving in the middle of a powerful thunder and lightning storm. The rain was coming down in sheets making visibility difficult. It was about 2:00 in the afternoon but the day had grown very dark. It matched my mood perfectly.
I was complaining and crying to the Lord about things in my life that were bothering me. Suddenly, in the middle of this torrential storm, a bright light began to break through the clouds, filling my car with its rays. Warmth entered my being and enraptured my spirit. Joyfulness shot through my heart and settled the storm that was raging in me. In the midst of the powerful tempest, the Lord flooded my heart with His intimate light. He was there with me, in my car.
He heard my cries and complaints and let me know that He loves me and that He cares for me. His healing light embraced me.
His precious light brought healing and new life to me when I wanted to die. It brought peace when I was despondent. His wonderful light shines in my life every morning and with it, He shines His everlasting love in me.
“Truly the light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun”. (Ecclesiastes 11:7)
“Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily…then you shall call and the Lord will answer, you shall cry and He will say, ‘Here I Am’”. (Isaiah 58:8-9)