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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: light (05/24/04)

TITLE: No Longer in Darkness
By Christy Jene Love
05/25/04

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No Longer in Darkness

I strive for perfection to no prevail
I yearn to win, achieve, and succeed only to fail
I had everything right - a house, a job, a man, yet it all seemed so wrong
This life I created - God did not belong
Then one day I handed everything over to him
This enabled my new life to begin
To God I gave all including my joys and my strife
And it is this point that I reflect
Where has God taken me in my life

As I sit in the head of an Eastern Kentucky holler in the late hours of the night
I feel no breeze coming my way and I see no light
As I sit outside I allow the darkness of the sky to envelop me
I strain my eyes, yet there is nothing for me to see
The quiet stillness surrounds me in this hour that I should be asleep
Yet awake I sit and ponder the trials and errors of my life and I weep

At one time, my life was consumed with darkness and everything wrong
The void and emptiness he overfilled with laughter, blessings and song
The trials and burdens were tearing my life apart
The moment I gave him my all, joy and contentment filled my heart
As I sat in the dark and reflected on his love
A clap of thunder and flash of light lit the sky above
I laughed for a moment as I thought in delight
I no longer sit in darkness but I live in the light


Member Comments
Member Date
Deborah Porter 06/01/04
Christy, you created some very good moods through parts of your poem. The second stanza, in particular, painted quite an emotional picture. And I loved the last four lines of the last stanza. They were delightful.

The only thing I found a little difficult was trying to find a regular rhythm and flow in the words. It seemed to change all the time, which made it a little awkward to read. Also, not sure if "prevail" is the word you wanted in that first line, or "avail".

With a bit of editing, I think this would be VERY special. With love, Deb
Marcell Billinghurst06/01/04
I fully agree with Debbie's comments about your poem. With some careful editing, this poem has great potential.
You have shared some lovely thoughts. Keep on writing.
Christy Jene Love06/01/04
If you can, please check out the final version which I submitted later. I agree with you comments regarding the flow of the poem. Thank you! Christy
L.M. Lee06/01/04
nice transition from darkness to light
Melanie Kerr 06/02/04
I like the transition from weeping to laughter. Too often we never make it to the laughter part!
Linda Germain 06/02/04
"I no longer sit in darkness but I LIVE in the light" ....wonderful.

You speak to many hearts as you put us right there in that Kentucky Holler with you. Am anxious to read the updated version.
B Price06/04/04
Enjoyed reading this poem, would love to read the updated version.
you put emotion feelings in this that many can relate to as we sit in the darkness before the LIGHT comes in.
what a wonderful feeling that is.
GOD BLESS.
Lynne Gaunt06/04/04
This is very good. I like the images you use to help me see the dark, lonliness, and light.