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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: light (05/24/04)

By James Snyder


Recently, the Mistress of the parsonage and yours truly got away for a little R & R. There is nothing like stealing away for a couple of days just to enjoy one another’s company and relax. All work and no play make the pastor and his wife rather cranky.

My wife and I had settled into our motel room for a relaxing evening after traveling for the day. Being a rather balmy evening, we surrounded ourselves with delectable goodies, a bowl of popcorn and several cans of soda on ice.

As I opened another can of soda my wife said to me, “You better not drink that last soda. I think you’ve had enough before going to bed.”

Ha! “There is one thing I know,” I quipped rather sarcastically to my spouse, “and that is when I have had enough soda.” And just to show her who’s boss I drank the last soda with exuberant relish.

The last of the popcorn had been munched, the last drop of soda drained from the can and the Mrs. and I were ready to turn in for the night. Soon we were snuggled down for our evening’s nap and in no time we were dead to the world.

About 2 a.m. when my first regret appeared like the ghost of Christmas past. I now regretted (and don’t tell my wife) that last soda.

Nothing is quite as frustrating as getting up in the middle of the night and not quite knowing where you are or how you got there.

I stumbled out of bed and stubbed my toe on the chair trying finding the bathroom. Out of consideration for my sleeping beauty, I did not turn on the light. That’s just the kind of man I am.

I soon came to regret that action.

Have you ever noticed in motel rooms that the door to the bathroom and the outside door are side-by-side?

In groping my way to the bathroom, I somehow opened the wrong door. Being in a state of semi-consciousness, I did not realize I had opened the wrong door until it shut behind me.

About this time, I faced another regret. Slowly I realized what happened and I truly regretted not wearing pajamas to bed.

Not wearing pajamas presented several problems. For one, I had nowhere to keep the motel room key. So, the first thing to deal with was the locked door.
Several options presented themselves.

One, I could go down to the main office and get another key. However, I’m not sure they would appreciate seeing a naked man in their office at 2 a.m. Also, I’m not too sure I wanted seen so attired, or unattired as the case may be.

At 2 a.m., I’m not the sharpest guy in the world. Okay, I’m not the sharpest guy at 2 p.m. either, but I knew I was in deep trouble.

My second option was to pound on the door and arouse my wife to let me in. As you could well understand, this option was perhaps the most dangerous. I knew if I awoke my wife under these circumstances, I would never live it down the rest of my life.

Not just her mocking laugh at me but this little episode would be repeated ad nauseam, amid snickers and giggles whenever my wife found herself with people. Who wants this hanging over their head the rest of their natural life?

Right about this time I really regretted that last can of soda. The reason for my getting up at 2 a.m. was becoming more serious as the night air cooled my naked body. No matter what I did, or thought, it just wouldn’t go away.

My options seemed exhausted. Something had to be done immediately. I thought about spending the night in my car but it was locked and the keys were in the motel room.

Shivering in the night air, I remembered a key verse from the Bible. "And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof." (Revelation 21:23 KJV)

The value of light depends on what side of the door you happen to be at the time.

Member Comments
Member Date
Mary Elder-Criss05/31/04
Oh my! You can't leave us hanging like this..come on and fess up..You woke your wife, right?? Inquiring minds want to know!!!
Marcell Billinghurst05/31/04
A very humorous story. Maybe the subject Beginnings will give us the next instalment to How did you get back in?
Marie B. Corso05/31/04
The moral of the story: listen to your wife as God told Abraham.
Funny story. Please give us the ending!
L.M. Lee05/31/04
always look forward to your stories! you need to compile all these in a book... passages from the parsonage!
Kevin Kindrick05/31/04
Excellent story, I love the humor, great style of writing. But the story sounds familiar. Didn't you use it for the "doors" challenge?
Annette Agnello05/31/04
When I first started reading I thought of my pastor and his wife just going on a cruse for their 25th anniversary. I imagined… Pastor Ron couldn’t have told the story that well or with such humor.
Gary Sims05/31/04
I think this story needs a few illustrations...a few pictures to help understand the size of your plight ;-)

Funny stuff and just the type of thing a pastor needs in their repetoir to be reminded of the importance of humility.
Patricia Sheets05/31/04
Very funny! You are a gifted writer.
Deborah Porter 05/31/04
Woo-hoo James!!! ;-) But oh my! Please ignore Gary's suggestion - no illustrations!!!!! My imagination is bad enough. Thanks for another wonderful chuckle James. I love the way you are so willing to let us have fun at your expense. With love, Deb
Joanne Malley06/01/04
Your ability for storytelling is apparent. I liked this very much. If it wasn't a story and is truth, at least it seems as if you have a sense of humor! You did wake your wife, right? Don't worry if you did--I think we all have at least one circumstance that we can't live down!
gillian liversedge06/02/04
I laughed out loud when I got to the end of the story! Thanks so much! Please, please, tell us the end of the story!
B Price06/03/04
first have to agree with most of the comments.
and I think I read one story of yours that told us you were modest, this doesn't sound like you have a modesty problem, other wise you wouldn't be writting this, and 2nd you would wear underwear.
Pastor are humans, and humans would make mistakes like this.
This shows why we should listen to our mates that GOD gives us.
and we got to know the rest of the story..
I couldn't see you walking down the hall way naked, not as a pastor, or as being so modest as you said you were. SO your wife not letting you live this down, right?
if these are truth, wow...have you wonder what is going on? LOL
and if you are writting humorist stuff, do you write serious stuff too, or is this your way of escaping the day to day stuff?
keep writting and we keep reading and laughing
and NO PICTURES, that would be pushing it WAY OVER THE LIMIT.
Lynne Gaunt06/04/04
Funny! I really enjoyed this. So did you wake your wife? or get arrested for indecent exposure - now THAT would be embarrassing!