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Topic: Pride (04/12/04)
TITLE: Reach Up
By Val Peterson
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Initially I wasn't aware anything was wrong. The diagnoses was a mild concussion. After a few weeks of recovery I "pretended" all was well and attempted to go about life as if nothing happened.
Unbelievably, daily tasks were becoming overwhelming and my energy level and enthusiasm were lessening. Short term memory was impaired and eventually every part of life, including relationships were affected.
Often it takes the loving intervention of a friend before you truly face reality. That is what happened to me. My friend has a daughter that suffered a debilitating brain injury in her teens. She convinced me that I had similar symptoms.
Definitely, my pride was bruised but there was no escaping the truth.
After months of denial, reality smacked me squarely in the face.
I was forced into making a decision.
Would I allow pride to keep me trapped in denial or would I finally admit I needed professional help?
As a mother, I am "conditioned" to deny my own needs and focus on the needs of others, placing myself at the very bottom of the "to do" list, if in fact I place myself on that list at all!
Family can be a great source of pride and a convincing excuse for denial.
When we fall into that trap, we continue to validate family expectations until we believe our own deception.
The longer we allow ourselves to be blinded by pride and go untreated, the harder it is to take the first step.
For an "over achiever" especially, it is nearly impossible to accept the fact you are "broken" and you do need help. Crucial time is often wasted.
Just because you LOOK FINE doesn't mean you ARE fine.
You don't have to be completely incapacitated to have disabilities, and there is no shame in admitting the need to focus on your own needs.
When you realize you and you alone must take the first step, healing starts to take place.
A tremendous relief overcomes you, like a purifying breath of air.
It's OK to ask for help but it's usually the last thing we do.
After attempting to "fix" everything our own way, and with our own power, (because asking for help is often perceived as weakness), it's time to reach up for the hand that is always there.
Reach up for the hand of God.
"A woman's pride shall bring her low: but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit".