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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Doors (04/05/04)

TITLE: Hurry Up, Open the Door!
By Naomi Deutekom


Hurry Up, Open the Door!

“Hurry up, Nancy.” said Carmon. “We’ve to get out of here before someone finds us.”

“We shouldn’t be here anyway,” said Nancy.

“Look, I know it was a dumb idea,” she said, “but I really don’t want to get caught.”

“Then you try the door,” Nancy said. “I can’t get it to budge.”

“Fine,” Carmon’s voice was growing impatient.

Nancy was worried, but they had to get out of here, even if they did get caught.

“Ouch” said Carmon.

“What happened?” asked Nancy.

“I broke a nail,” she replied.

“You’re worried about a broken nail?” Nancy said in exasperation. “Here let me try again.”

“I just don’t understand why this door won’t open. It doesn’t have a lock.” Carmon said.

“The knob won’t move,” said Nancy.

“I know that!” Carmon said.

“Maybe we should pray.” suggested Nancy.

“Ya right.” said Carmon. “Like God will listen. I mean were not even supposed to be here.”

“I know,” said Nancy. “I think maybe if we confessed our sin first, He might listen.”

“Look, you can believe in God and sin and all that stuff, but I’m not confessing anything.”

Nancy bit her lip. Why did she let Carmon talk her into these things anyway? They always got into trouble. Now, here they were, stuck in the boys’ locker room. Soon the school would get locked up and they’d be stuck here all night. She really didn’t want to get caught, but it would be better that spending the night in here.

“Here Carmon,” she said. “You try again.”

Nancy stepped away from the door. She began to pray silently. "Oh, Lord, Thank you that you still love me, even when I do stupid things like this. I’m sorry I let you down again. Please forgive me for taking the dare. I confess my sin to You. …and Lord, could You please get us out of here?"

Nancy sat down on the floor of the office. Carmon could keep working on the door if she wanted. She would sit and wait and pray. "Even if we don’t get caught Lord, I’ll confess in the morning. I don’t want to do things like this any more. Help me be more like you. WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?)? I need to remember that the next time I think about doing something stupid!"

“Help, Help!” Nancy opened her eyes at the sound of Carmon’s voice. She was beating on the door and yelling.

“Help, Help, somebody help!” Carmon cried. Nancy could see that Carmon was starting to panic.

“Carmon, calm down,” she said.

“Help, Help, somebody help!” Carmon continued to call for help.

Nancy looked at her watch. 5:42 p.m. The school was probably empty, except for the janitor, but he could be anywhere. Well, maybe Carmon had a good idea. Nancy joined her at the door.

“Help, Help, somebody help us!” She cried. She continued to yell along with Carmon. Maybe the janitor would hear them, if he wasn’t too far away.

Nancy paused for breath. “Wait, Carmon, be quiet. I hear something.” Carmon stopped screaming and Nancy listened intently.

“Yes,” Carmon said. “Someone’s coming.” She stated screaming again. “Help, help, in here. Please help us.”

Suddenly the door swung open. There stood the principle.

“Now what are you two doing stuck in here?” He asked.

Carmon dove into his arms crying wildly about being saved. The look on his face almost made Nancy laugh, almost. Now they were in trouble.

“Miss Andrews,” he said, “Please calm down.” He pushed her away gently. “Miss Carter, perhaps you could explain what’s going on here?”

Nancy tried to speak, but found she had lost her voice. Carmon, through her tears and hysteria, seemed to find hers.

“Oh, it’s all my fault,” Carmon cried. “I talked her into it.” She hiccupped and sniffed back the tears. “It was a dare.”

“Maybe we should get the details tomorrow,” he suggested. “I think you should go home now. I will see you both in my office tomorrow morning at 8:30 am,” he said. “With your parents.” He stood aside and let them walk into the hallway. “8:30 a.m.,” he said again. “With your parents.”

“Yes sir,” said Carmon. Nancy, still silent, just nodded her head. Mom was not going to be happy. "Oh well," she sighed. "At least You got us out Lord. Thank you."

Carmon grab her arm. “Come on you dope,” said Carmon. “Let’s get out of here.” She let Carmon lead her out of the school, but this was the last time she would let Carmon lead her anywhere.

Member Comments
Member Date
Corinne Smelker 04/12/04
This is a good story for kids to read.

By the way, it is principal, not principle!
Caroline Alderson04/13/04
That was funny!
L.M. Lee04/13/04
love reading dialogue! makes it easy to slip into a character!
Leticia Caroccio04/15/04
The dialogue kept the flow going. I felt as if I was there. Nice read.