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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Doors (04/05/04)

TITLE: I SAW THE LIGHT AS THE DOOR CLOSED BEFORE ME
By James Snyder
04/05/04

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Life lived at its fullest usually harbors a few indiscriminate regrets along the way. Sometimes things happen to a person that he or she would like to undo.

I donít know about you but I hate it when things donít go according to my plan.

Recently, the Mistress of the parsonage and yours truly got away for a little R and R. There is nothing like stealing away for a couple of days just to enjoy one anotherís company and relax. All work and no play make the pastor and his wife rather cranky.

The only drawback with such escapades is staying in a motel.

Now, I grant you motels are quite nice accommodations for people on the road. When a person is traveling all day, itís good to settle down into a nice comfortable room.

However, not all motel rooms are created equal. Some, as a matter of fact, are just a little more equal than others, if you know what I mean.

My wife and I had just settled down into our motel room for a relaxing evening after traveling for the day.

Being a rather balmy evening, we surrounded ourselves with delectable goodies, a bowl of popcorn and several cans of soda on ice. Nothing beats a bowl of popcorn and ice cold soda on a balmy evening in a motel room, far from home.

As I opened another can of soda (I canít remember how many I had) my wife said to me, ďYou better not drink that last soda. I think youíve had enough before going to bed.Ē

Ha! ďThere is one thing I know,Ē I quipped rather sarcastically to my spouse, ďand that is when I have had enough soda.Ē And just to show her whoís boss I drank the last soda with exuberant relish.

I just hate it when people, especially my wife, think they know whatís best for me. Iím a big boy now and can make my own decisions, thank you.

The last of the popcorn had been munched, the last drop of soda drained from the can and the Mrs. and I were ready to turn in for the night. Soon we were snuggled down for our eveningís nap and in no time we were dead to the world.

It was about 2 a.m. when my first regret appeared like the ghost of Christmas past. I now regretted, and donít tell my wife, that last soda. If there is anything I hate itís getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

Especially when Iím sleeping in unfamiliar territory.

Nothing is quite as frustrating as getting up in the middle of the night and not quite knowing where you are or how you got there.

I stumbled out of bed, stubbed my toe on the chair and tried finding the bathroom. Out of consideration for my sleeping beauty, I did not turn on the light. Thatís just the kind of man I am.

I soon came to regret that action.

Have you ever noticed in motel rooms that the door to the bathroom and the outside door are side-by-side? I never noticed that before. In groping my way to the bathroom, I somehow opened the wrong door. Being in a state of semi-consciousness, I did not realize I had opened the wrong door until it shut behind me.

About this time, I faced another regret. A big regret. As I stood there and slowly realized what had happened I truly regretted not wearing pajamas to bed.

Not wearing pajamas presented several problems. For one, I had nowhere to keep the motel room key. So the first thing to deal with was the locked door.

Several options presented themselves.

One, I could go down to the main office and get another key. However, and this is a big however, Iím not sure they would appreciate seeing a naked man in their office at 2 a.m. Also, Iím not too sure I wanted to be seen so attired, or unattired as the case may be.

At 2 a.m., Iím not the sharpest guy in the world. Okay, Iím not the sharpest guy at 2 p.m., but I knew I was in deep trouble.

My second option was to pound on the door and arouse my wife to let me in.

As you could well understand, this option was perhaps the most dangerous. I knew that if I awoke my wife under these circumstances I would never live it down the rest of my life. Not just her mocking laugh at me.

This little episode would be repeated ad nauseam, amid snickers and giggles whenever my wife found herself with people. Who wants this hanging over their head the rest of their natural life?

Wives are like that you know. There was no way I wanted to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she was right about the soda.

Right about this time I really regretted that last can of soda. The reason for my getting up at 2 a.m. was becoming more serious as the night air cooled my naked body. No matter what I did, or thought, it just wouldnít go away.

My options seemed exhausted. Something had to be done immediately. I thought about spending the night in my car but it was locked and the keys were in the motel room.

The Apostle Paul reveled in an open door set before him, ďFor a great door and effectual is opened unto me, and there are many adversaries.Ē (1 Corinthians 16:9 KJV)

Believe me, I understand the adversary angle on this subject. The only thing on my diet at the time was my pride.

Therefore, I swallowed it. When you see my wife and she begins telling ďmotel stories,Ē do me a favor. Interrupt her and ask about her grandchildren.


Member Comments
Member Date
Melanie Kerr 04/12/04
You write so well. Why are you stories not published?
Helen Wiebe04/12/04
This is so funny *** and so well told! I can't stop laughing. Very well done! It took courage to walk through this door, didn't it?
Linda Miller04/12/04
Wonderful piece. Made me chuckle throughout this whole day - the things we get into! Thanks for lifting me up today.
Corinne Smelker04/12/04
How the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage puts up with you is beyond me! But she does, and I love the stories you tell as a result. Well written, well told - loved it!
WENDY DECKER04/13/04
That was a great story. You told it perfectly and gave me a great laugh.
Donna Anderson04/13/04
I so appreciate '...the kind of man you are'! HA! :) This was good to the last drop! HA HA! :) thank you
L.M. Lee04/13/04
what a hoot! loved the last paragraph...how are the kiddos? :-)
Kenny Paul Clarkson04/13/04
Doors are options; good point!
Naomi Deutekom04/13/04
Very Funny!
Robert Coskrey04/14/04
Okay
Leticia Caroccio04/15/04
This was sooo funny. This was almost like a Seinfeld episode, my favorite sitcom. I really needed a good laugh today and I thank you for providing it. It is always good to be able to laugh at oneself. Thank you.
Margaret Reed04/16/04
Very good, well writen, easy flow.

Your title seems to be a bit long.

Jeff Kindrick04/17/04
Your story reminded me of one of those nightmares in which I find myself 35 years in the past, still in high school, and, you guessed it, without a stitch of clothing. It also reminds me of the reason that I always keep a flashlight on the nightstand, at home and on the road! Just an old Boy Scout at heart. Thanks for several hearty laughs.