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Topic: hope (03/29/04)
TITLE: Letter to Millie
By Brenda Kern
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I know it's been a while since I last wrote to you--please forgive me! So much has been happening around here!
I believe that in my last letter I told you about my troubles with THAT WOMAN. You know and I know how that area of my life and all the years of dashed hopes have really added up and taken a toll on me. I just couldn't face his disappointment yet again, and stand in the way of such a big promise. So, in retrospect, maybe giving her to him wasn't the best decision I've ever made, and I'll just have to hope that it works out all right. I just never thought that the situation would be so hard to live with, and I think I told you I was relieved when she ran off. Well, she came back, but she seemed a little different after that, and especially after she had the baby. Things have improved around here somewhat over the past few years.
More recently, God directed The Old Man to change our names! Can you believe it--I have to remember a new name at this old age?! The good news is that it's close to my old name, and--get this: the new name means "Princess!" Me, a 90-year-old princess! I'm sure you'll get a real laugh out of that one!
Speaking of laughs: we had some visitors, and The Old Man seemed very excited that they were here. We had to hustle around and get a fancy spread put on for them, pronto. That's fine with me--I'm used to hard work, and I have plenty of servants to help, anyway. The more interesting part to me is always the talk--we are so isolated, and this lifestyle! The constant moving cuts me off from any news, and I can't stand it! (But you already knew that about me, didn't you, old friend?) So, I was trying to nonchalantly hover near the doorway, you know, I had some urgent sand removal to do right in that area of the tent, don't you know... I heard parts of the conversation, nothing much of interest, but then... then they dropped a bombshell, a prophecy about me! It was so ludicrous, so absolutely, lusciously goofy, that I laughed!
Now, I thought I had laughed to myself, I was just sure of it. I would definitely have caught some guff from The Old Man if he had heard me laugh, because that would have given away my eavesdropping (we've had THAT discussion a time or two before!) and it would have indicated disrespect, from his perspective, toward our visitors. But I guess there's a tiny chance that a little peep of a giggle escaped me, because one of the guests asked The Old Man why I had laughed!
And they all turned toward me. Out of my mouth popped "I did not laugh." That same visitor said, "Yes, you did laugh," but the incident just ended there, lucky me. It's been three, maybe four months now, and that whole thing seems to have blown over.
Then, the major news, which I'm sure you've heard by now: our nephew barely escaped that big disaster with his life! His daughters got out safely with him, but his wife, sadly, was lost.
Then, moving time! We moved on, again, to a new place. Do you remember the "She's my sister" bit from when we were in Egypt? Unbelievably, The Old Man tried it again! With just about the same results! (A little aside here, I'll toot my own horn just the tiniest bit: the old girl's still got it, hey, Millie?!)
And that just about brings us up-to-date.
Except for one thing: my health. I'm an old gal now, and weariness naturally comes along with that; believe me, I know that full well. But just lately, I have been extra tired and so easily worn down! And I can't seem to keep much food down, especially in the mornings. My stomach is just..., well, not right, not normal.
If I didn't know better, I'd wonder if... The prophecy of those visitors, the talk that made me laugh WAS quite specific... Well, Millie, I don't dare to write down what I'm thinking, after all these decades of hoping. If I'm right, you'll know through the "family grapevine" soon enough. Soon enough...
I'll sign this letter with my new "princess" name--you'll see that it's close to my old one.
Much love to all,
April 3, 2004