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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: INSOUCIANT (06/02/16)
Silly old man and his boat
Says the rain is coming.
Look at him.
Measuring his wood,
Scrubbing his planks,
Buffing his decks,
And gazing at the sky every now and then.
Watching, Praying
While he could be enjoying
The moment.
What's wrong with him?

But the rain did come at
Its moment.
And the door was shut.

***

Silly virgins with their flasks
Say the bridegroom is coming.
Look at them.
Measuring their oil,
Cleaning their skirts,
Polishing their lamps,
And gazing up the street every now and then.
Watching, Praying
While they could be enjoying
The moment.
What's wrong with them?

But the bridegroom did come at
His moment.
And the door was shut.

***

Silly Christians with their Bibles
Say Messiah is coming.
Look at them.
Measuring their time,
Purifying their ways,
Polishing their lives,
And gazing at the sky every now and then.
Watching, Praying
While they could be enjoying
The moment.
What's wrong with them?

But Messiah will come at
His Moment.
And the door will be shut.
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This article has been read 585 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Holly Westefeld
06/09/16
I am not a huge free verse fan, but the structure you used, combined with its brevity, make for a powerful message, exemplifying the topic. I expect this to do well.
Linda Goergen
06/10/16
I know many consider a lack of rhyme free verse, but I personally would not consider this free verse. It has a regular rhythm and repeated pattern and a repeated message that it drives home in the last stanza. I loved this! It certainly fits the topic that shows an insouciant society today, that mimics behavior the bible has warned of in times past and you show beautifully in your poem! I think it paints a powerful message for this blinded generation. Well done!
Noel Mitaxa 
06/14/16
Clear and powerful message that builds very quickly to a great climax. Well done.
Ellen Carr 
06/14/16
I enjoyed your poem and its message, and your take on this topic. Well written.
Holly Westefeld
06/16/16
Congratulations, Lea, on your 3rd place EC! It was my favorite this week.
Bonnie Bowden 
06/16/16
Congratulations, Lea, on winning a 3rd place EC award this week.

I like the concise pattern of your poem. It shared a strong and clear message. I'm adding it to my favorites.
Noel Mitaxa 
06/16/16
Congrats on your placing and on your EC. Well done.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
06/16/16
Lea, What a powerful message and clear delivery. Congratulations on 3rd place in the EC.
Catrina Bradley
06/17/16
I've read your "sermon in verse" twice and I'm the verge of tears. The repeated lines at the end of the stanza become increasing convicting. My favorite so far.
Ellen Carr 
06/17/16
Congratulations, Lea, on your 3rd place. It's very much deserved!
Anne Warden 
06/25/16
Lea, this one gave me goosebumps. And it came at a God-destined moment for me, when I have been struggling with how to use my time to tell others of Messiah.

Congratulations on your EC placing.
Bea Edwards 
06/26/16
Umm wow... simple yet astoundingly profound. Well done.