Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Gossip Mill (05/08/14)
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TITLE: The wheel Turns | Previous Challenge Entry
By Graham Insley
05/14/14 -
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Sitting in a friend's car across the road, Janice sees it all.
The same day, 6:25 pm. John and Sue are at it again. Financial struggle tears them apart. Mortgage is overdue. School fees late. Cutbacks at work. Stress on overload. Loud voices followed by sore throats.
Paul went to drop off a box of groceries -- ring the bell and run. He hadn't intended to listen. Bit hard not to.
2:45 am. Friday, May 2, 2014. Johnny's bedroom window is open. His bed's empty. On a lonely street three blocks over a small figure on a skateboard pulls his hoody up to hide the black eye. Despair flowing like mist in his wake, Johnny wished his dad didn't drink.
Coming home from a late shift, Alison sees the familiar figure. She's seen this before in the early hours. She can guess at the reason.
The same day, 7 am. The front door slams and shakes the glass in the windows. Fumes of anger surround Fred -- with fists held tight and tense shoulders, the human storm cloud stomps to the car. Car door slams. The engine starts with a little over revving of the motor. Small squeals come from the back tires as he takes off.
Across the road, Jason collects his morning paper. The first slam makes him look up. He watches Fred and frowns.
Friday night, May 2, 2014, 10:30. Peggy knows she was due home at 10. Paul knows it too. They didn't intend to be late, but the embrace is too hard to break. Sitting on the park bench they kiss goodnight. With regret and love's sweet agony, they tear apart and head home in different directions.
Mrs. Branch walks Snoopy into the park for his toilet walk. She sees the entwined couple. As a note of disapproval for public affection she sighs and shakes her head. She recognizes the teenage girl.
3:30 pm, Saturday May 3, 2014. Church family picnic in the park. Janice, Alison and Mrs. Branch are in covert conversation.
Little Johnny's ears are burning as he touches his left eye. He's told everyone he fell off his skateboard. No-one seems to believe him. If they didn't believe him, why didn't they help him?
Peggy sees the women casting glances her way. Shame creeps up her neck and bursts into a red glow on her cheeks. She and Paul have decided to save sex for their wedding day. Her purity is safe from everything except wagging tongues. She loves God, but sometimes she hates church.
Sally has found out that Janice saw her last Thursday. Her mind is racing as she tries to work out a plausible reason for going into the bottle shop. She reaches into her handbag and sprays a breath freshener into her mouth.
Paul was already feeling guilty as he shared his story with Jason -- who had shared his without a moment's hesitation. The two men now had a habit of sharing. They said it was so they could pray -- but Paul knew they never prayed. Some habits are hard to break.
3:45 pm. Pastor Phillip leaned his back against a big, old oak tree. He grimaced as his cup of tea turned sour to his taste. The caring Pastor mulled over the latest set of rumors.
He knew that these members of his congregation were hurting. Sally was thinking of quitting church. John and Sue were trying to sell their house before it was repossessed. The police were talking to little Johnny's father -- Johnny was scared that welfare would put him in a foster home. Fred had cancer and wasn't dealing with it well. Peggy and Paul wanted to serve the Lord on the mission field, but both sets of parents were against the church.
And some of the congregation, that didn't know all of the facts, were too quick to judge.
He silently prayed for them all as he leaned on that huge trunk. But he also prayed for himself -- for wisdom. He wanted to know how to shut down the gossip mill and convert it into a prayer wheel.
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Technically you shouldn't start a sentence with a numeral. I realize that it was meant to be a log, but it still made me stutter a bit as I read. I'm sure you spotted the bit not me instead of but. Also pastor shouldn't start with a capital unless it's being used as a name. Ex: I looked at Pastor and smiled. I looked at the pastor and smiled. The ending was perfect.
You had some lines that really blew me away. The one where Johnny wondered if they didn't believe him why didn't they do something took my breath away. Brilliant. You spoke volumes with the phrase turn gossip mills into prayer wheels. It belongs on a bumper sticker.
Very nice work. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Great job.
God bless~