Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (11/21/13)
-
TITLE: Courtyard Collusion | Previous Challenge Entry
By Noel Mitaxa
11/28/13 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
The men all rose at various speeds, tucking their scrolls under their elbows and ensuring that all phylacteries were securely strapped to their foreheads, before filing out of the synagogue with Jairus leading the way.
Watching them leave, Zebedee nodded for Asher to follow him into the courtyard, where a canopy of vines shaded two long benches from the afternoon heat.
“How has Brother Jairus caused you to seethe at him throughout our discussion?” he asked his younger colleague, as they reclined onto the seats.
“Because he returns to us just two days after that Nazarene carpenter has been in his house—when we all know that guy is nothing but trouble!”
“That Nazarene healed his daughter Talitha; so everyone can finalise her dowry. Is this so bad?”
“But this fuss over a daughter; when the scriptures declare the greater blessing of sons?”
“Asher, how foolish are you? How can we be blessed by sons unless daughters become women—and then become mothers to those sons?
“Jairus should avoid that Nazarene carpenter,” Asher replied, gathering momentum. “He’s bad news—wandering in from the hill country with none of our rabbi-school credentials—and low-lights are flocking to him. He claims to explain laws that the Almighty handed down to Moses: yet he ignores our Mishnah writings; he refuses to quote our Talmud’s oral traditions; he subverts four hundred years of the studies that have been our devotion since the Eternal One last spoke through Malachi! And to think that Jairus would welcome him …”
“Brother Asher, we can all keep an eye on Jairus,” commented Zebedee, “but this carpenter’s evil influence is spreading much wider…
“I was following the crowd to Jairus’ house, when the carpenter suddenly stopped. ‘Someone touched me!’ he called out. Imagine that—with everybody pushing to get up close and personal? Even one of his fishing buddies queried him.
“But he stayed put; until a woman shuffled forward. She was clearly afraid, and when she lifted a veil from her face, I knew why. We had declared her unclean twelve years ago; yet there she was, with no right to leave her house! She knew she was breaking our Law, but this carpenter suddenly told the whole crowd that her faith had somehow made her well!
“Is he now a doctor who stops blood flowing, and overrides our ritual cleanliness?” glowered Asher. “What’s next? Will Gentiles now start claiming equal blood links to the Almighty to our own—when we are called to be the light to these Gentiles!
“This carpenter tells clever sob stories about lost sheep, or lost sons, or corrupt judges…” His tone turned to ice. “But how can he know about judgement, when he consorts with harlots and tax-collectors? He even calls himself bread for life. Will his followers become cannibals?
“He also claims to be a good shepherd who lays down his life for the sheep. Good shepherd, hey? He pretends to know about sheep, and so mild. Bah, I’d say the sooner he lays down his life the better,” he spluttered, “not just for his sheep, but for all of us!”
A smile lightly traced Zebedee’s face. “It looks bad, Brother Asher; but my cousin Jethrah brings good news from Jerusalem. He works as a scribe with Gamaliel’s Sanhedrin Academy, where a young scholar shows an outstanding grasp of the Law and its interpretation. Some very sharp-minded young disciples are taking his lead, and together they are mercilessly dismantling all arguments. They have become so skilful in tracking down and exposing bad doctrines and concealed sins, that they've been dubbed The Sleutherans! Gamaliel is convinced that they will also expose this Nazarene carpenter as the wolf in sheep’s clothing that he’s proving to be; so his disciples will also disperse.”
“Does this young Sleutheran have a name?” Asher’s features were also beginning to soften.
“Yes, his name is Saul and he hails from Tarsus; to the north of here in the province of Cilicia.”
Saul—how appropriate, thought Asher, just like our first king; a man who stood head and shoulders to rule over the house of Israel. Hah! Maybe we Pharisees will also stand tall and rule once again; after Saul puts this false prophet in his place...
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
You have a good imagination of how the conversation might go back them. Good job!
Did you mean "low-life's" instead of "low-light's?"
Blessings, LaVonne
The idea of the article is an excellent one, and I love stories that reveal a "behind the scenes" look at how people may have reacted to biblical events. Your characters were good ones, but in the end I had a tough time getting past the back and forth nature of their voices. Others, I'm sure, won't be so distracted by it, but I'm an old scriptwriter, so I'm extra-sensitive about it, I guess.
Thanks for sharing, though. Your story made me go back and re-read this portion of scripture and see some things I never noted before, so excellent job!
I saw the irony of the argument from a different perspective to the one I am used to; which is why you refered to the Screwtape Letters I guess. I think you did an excellent job of that.
My red ink is that I found it difficult to read and understand 'who' was talking; and even going back over it slowly I lost track until I finally figured it out.
Perhaps part of this was the mix of contempory and older style speech, as mentioned before.
Maybe a sloution would be transitions that show Asher is still speaking. ( His voice quickened as his anger rose, "“This carpenter tells clever sob stories...") for example.
I also really enjoyed the irony of joyful anticipation in your ending. Poor Asher, such disappointment awaited him.
God bless~