The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/13
I enjoyed your cat and bird poem (oh yes, fish too). It was good fun. Well done.
Oh how I love this. I'm not a big poetry fan but this was simply delicious. I even think it would be a marvelous fit for a picture book. Outstanding!
04/13/13
Bravo! Bravo! This is just exceptional. Loved the story so well told with perfect rhyme, flow and meter! As a cat owner of one whose personality fits Shiloh's, I was entranced. Great message also.

What a joy to read.
04/13/13
I usually struggle with reading poetry and typically give up by the second stanza,(must have been dropped on my head as a child).
But, I actually finished and ENJOYED your piece! I agree with Shann that it would be a great picture book.
I feel so accomplished having read a full poem. Thanks for keeping this short attention span girl engaged!
04/14/13
What a treat to read a new poem by the master! As usual, this did not disappoint, from the Shiloh/Maxx rival (is there a hidden story in this?) :) to all the wonderful images (favorites being: yellowfish pond, and three yellowfish circling Shiloh's head) and a rich tangible setting. I'll also ditto what the others said, about the perfect meter and wanting to see illustrations. Thanks!
04/14/13
Aw, this is adorable. I love every word of it but especially - 'they would spit for a bit and then stage a retreat.' That line tickled me pink, and I'm still laughing. Great poetry!
04/14/13
ps... Love the title too.
Ah, so very nicely done. Loved this humorous proverb done as a masterful poem. Perfect ending!
04/14/13
Thrilled to see you back in action with this purrfect prose!
Masterfully done! I enjoyed this poem from beginning to end. Superb!
Love the drama! Excellent.
Ditto on the children's book suggestion. Kids would love this, and its conclusion is easy to grasp. After two readings, though, I still want the first verb in line 10 to be past tense. Maybe just me, though.
04/16/13
You're absolutely correct, Carolyn - Thanks! Comments/corrections like yours are exactly what I'm lookin' for. I made the change on the final draft.
04/16/13
Okay...this is absolutely a masterpiece of poetry writing! The "atmosphere," story, rhyme, flow, humor, message-all are perfect in my opinion! I am very humbled to read such excellent work! Your descriptive words put me front and center as an interested observer of this thrilling scene! :) I especially liked: "The cats lunged at each other and began to brawl,
Tumbling head over tail in a tight fuzzy ball". Thank you for making me smile and making me think!!
04/18/13
WOW-Genius at work, "do not disturb" working on the next masterpiece!!

This was fabulous. I LOVED it! This should do well with the judges for sure.

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 12th in your level and 16 overall!