Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Tie (02/28/13)
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TITLE: Not Completely Gone | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ruth Neilson
03/07/13 -
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The last thing she remembered was trying to meet Simon at the Serenity Family Bistro, except she never made it there. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to remember more. She was missing something.
Who was she?
What was wrong with her?
She could vaguely remember Simon with his wide smile and strawberry blonde hair. He was a leader…someone that had to be protected at all costs. But she couldn’t remember who she was.
She opened her eyes, and tugged at the leather straps that kept her bound in the chair.
“It’ll be easier on ya...” A man’s voice floated throughout the room causing her eyes to dart around. "If ya stop struggling. Ya might keep your name." The voice faded as quickly as it emerged, only punctuated with a cackle. Her eyes widened and she struggled against the leather bindings. The man’s voice became crazed as he started to repeat quietly as it faded away, “Two by two, hands of…”
“I’m not sure what’s going on around here,” She informed the voice before a door slid open. A lean man entered the room. He was wearing white scrubs and a pair of blue latex gloves. He studied her as a malevolent smirk grew on his thin lips.
“Glad to see you awake, Miss 4367.”
She stared at him. “What are you doing to me?”
“Just some simple reprogramming, is all Miss. I’m just fixing a few personal belief quirks that your family finds repulsive. Now just relax, Miss. This won’t hurt at all.”
His voice reminded her of snake oil and she shivered as he reached up and squeezed the bag that was connected to her IV.
“I’ll fight it.”
“As expected, thus the set up you are in. Now, before the reprogramming kicks in, is there anything else that you wish to say? Perhaps, about information about any of your contacts in the underground?”
She spat at the ground before pulling herself up higher despite her restrains. “I have no other choice but to aim to misbehave.” She paused and cleared her throat, feeling the drugs tighten their hold on her mind. “And I pray that I will never be completely reprogrammed into your will!”
The man laughed as he sneered at her. “So be it.”
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Your open-ended last sentence REALLY left me wanting more. :-)
Well done.
I'm still trying to figure out if the MC was a spy or a Christian in the end times...looking forward to a sequel as I'm not creative enough to figure this one out. Well written and suspenseful but left me hanging. Perhaps that was you point and I'm too dense to realize it :-0
We are in danger of losing our identities and becoming mere numbers if we aren't in the Christ. Tie our hearts to His . . .
Overall, I enjoyed it. I do understand why a lot of the other comments talk about being confused. If you don't read a lot of sci-fi type stories, it will leave you over-thinking the plot. I also know that 750 words is short for this type of work.
I liked it and I really enjoyed the parallels I saw within the story.