Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Rest (01/17/13)
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TITLE: No Sleep for the Dreamer | Previous Challenge Entry
By Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom
01/24/13 -
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After ascertaining that I am alive by taking my vital signs, the nurse chirps in this annoying high-pitched voice, “What brings you here today?”
I bite my lip to prevent my sarcastic tongue from responding, “My car.” Instead I say, “I feel yucky.” I ignore her attempts to get me to clarify what yucky means. Giving up, she shoves my chart into the slot and slams the door.
After what feels like forever, my doctor strides in. “So you feel yucky?” I nod my head.
As he pokes and prods me, he grills me with questions. Then he presents me with a book. “It’s a sleep journal.”
Once again, I bite my tongue. Maybe he thinks I can’t read the bold letters across the cover.
“You need to jot down when you fall asleep, your dreams, anything you think is important. Hopefully, between the journal and an extensive sleep study we can figure out why you feel miserable.” He rushes out, leaving me feeling unheard.
One week later, I go to the sleep clinic where they glue electrodes to my head, making me look like Medusa. Then they shove something up my nose, and put belts around my waist, and stick electrodes on my chest and legs. Do they seriously expect me to sleep?
Later, as I skim over my journal, it becomes clear to me the reason behind my fatigue.
Day One: I drifted off around 10 PM. I woke up at 1 AM and found a bowl of cereal and milk in my bed.
Man, was that milk cold as it spilled across my chest. At least I know the refrigerator works.
Day Two: I had a nightmare.
I shudder as I remember my daughter yelling, “Mom, is someone really trying to kill you or are you dreaming again?” When I told her I had been dreaming, she said, “Good, shut up and go back to sleep.” Kids, gotta love 'em.
Day Three: I dreamed that my kids were drowning. I woke up in the middle of the swimming pool.
The pool episode freaked out my husband. He insisted on sleeping in the living room where he could see both doors.
Day Four: I woke up on the floor as my husband yanked the car keys from me.
He said I was trying to go to the store to buy rabbit food. We don’t even own a rabbit.
Day Five: My husband heard me snoring and then gasping for breath. He jostled my shoulder to wake me and I punched him in the face.
He had a black eye and wouldn't go to work. He didn't seem too sympathetic about my swollen hand.
Day Six: Lizzie had the flu and crawled in bed with me. I did finally fall asleep, but woke up to check on her. I didn't fall back asleep.
Man, I better not tell the doctor what happened next or he'll really think I'm crazy. I saw her spirit leaving her body so I pushed it back in. Personally, I think I saved her life, but she wasn't convinced.
Day 7: Actually I slept really well last night. I think I was asleep by 11:30 and don’t remember waking at all.
That is until I checked my text messages. I guess I was texting in my sleep. It’s a lot of gobbledygook, and then I told Amy that I miss my uterus. Good grief, I must have been sleeping, that’s one thing I definitely don’t miss. She and her family had a good giggle. I'm glad I could be entertaining.
At my doctor's appointment, I hand my journal over. It certainly appears like he is covering his mouth to stifle a giggle. Then he looks at me, as he raises his eyebrows. “Well, the sleep study shows you suffer from severe sleep apnea. That means you stop breathing and your oxygen levels drop dangerously low. We’ll get you hooked up with a machine that will force air into your lungs if you stop breathing while you’re sleeping. This should make a huge difference in your health.”
As I leave the office, I notice a burden lifting off my chest. There is something medically wrong with me; I’m not crazy after all—well, not too crazy.
Author's note:> Based on a true story
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I loved this. You have a great way with a story. Excellent writing.
God bless you~
A couple of the sleeping escapes made me laugh. I'm glad they were able to diagnose your problem and get you back on the road to good health.
Shann, along with the pain, you have put so much down-to-earth humor into this piece (I was chuckling along with the doctor - and a few other FW family members) that it just has to be true.
I identify with the sleep test, though I defy anyone to try sleeping when it feels like your face is being shoved through a flour sifter!!
Congratulations on a thought-provoking, enjoyable entry.
Congrats, and may God continue to Bless you~
Camille
Such a humorous look at a very real problem, nice indeed!
Wing His Words
Hilarous story. I can relate to the sleep study. The staff forced me to go to bed early so they could study me and then when I finally get some rest (REM sleep) they wake me up and send me home.
Your head is a gooey mess with electrodes and it took the technician hours to do my hair and makeup (well makeup may be a dream).
It's no glamour shot and then they film you sleeping and potentially snoring.
May God give you the grace to dish out more and win more. Congrats!