Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Risk (05/17/12)
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TITLE: buck fever | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jim McWhinnie
05/24/12 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
a harkening back to my own,
within my lost remembrance
i have seen him before,
i have heard his hooves splash these ancient waters,
i have heard his silent footsteps as they stirred the forest leaves,
i have felt his gaze as he studies me from afar,
i have felt his heartbeat quicken as measures the wisdom of his fear,
i am hunter,
he is hunted,
and together we struggle to live beyond the fences of Eden time.
why does he not break and run?
he taunts me.
he lets me know that i too am part of this primal moment,
have i the courage to engage the wild once more?
or shall i retreat
into my tame and tepid existence,
in cubicles of caution and towers of timid spirits,
where life is merely waiting for whimpered ends
clothed in blankets of old and weak?
there he stands on the very edge of flight,
looking at me with pleading thoughts,
“Come and chase me toward the mountain peak
and across the virgin meadow,
and together we shall have lived.”
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I think you have used lower case deliberately. I will spend some time pondering those lower case i. Even sentence beginnings are lower case.
If it isn't deliberate, I still like the thought that it is.
Thank you.
I too wonder about the lower cases. Perhaps since the MC was hunting it was a metaphor for being quiet? At any rate, Nice job!
into my tame and tepid existence,
in cubicles of caution and towers of timid spirits"
I took that as a modern man caught up in his mundane world of 9 to 5, yet the freedom of real life called out to him...hope I got it because I thoroughly enjoyed it!