Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Rich (04/26/12)
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TITLE: Giving Up the "Atta-girls" | Previous Challenge Entry
By Margaret McKinney
05/02/12 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Not rich in money. I have cried over too many pictures of starving African children to want more money. Besides, according to the Global Rich List, I am disgustingly wealthy.
My desire for riches goes deeper and is woven into my flesh, laced together with my pride in a sinful little package.
I want praise. Accolades. Notoriety. Fame. I want to be the best and win the most; to be the person PBS calls to give her expert opinion for a documentary: “Renowned historian My Name has this to say about the Mycenaeans…” I want the Attagirls, as many as I can get.
Such wanton desire is a far cry from Jesus, “who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!”*
He has set the example for me, and I have flouted it.
Far from giving my expert opinion on PBS, I am a stay-at-home mom, have never had a paying job, and spend most of my days picking up Legos and socks that have no partner. I know that in God’s eyes I am doing the work He planned for me and that it’s important work. But that doesn’t matter, because it is thankless work that's thin on praise.
I have a novel to my credit, and in the beginning I honestly wrote it from sheer joy. The story sang to me and I responded, never dreaming it would go anywhere. Two years later I see it published, a sight which should cause me to swell with the good kind of pride.
My true feeling? “I used a subsidy publisher instead of a traditional publisher, so it doesn’t really count.”
Why am I so focused on the accomplishment of the thing rather than the joy of my gift?
The book is lovely, but in a market with eight million friends, it is nothing special. It will win no contests, it will not “break out”, and it will not become a household name. And I hate admitting that this grates me, tears at my heart, and tempts me to hang up my writing hands for life.
If I can’t excel and be the best, why should I even try?
God says: “Because it’s my gift to you, and by golly, it’s fun.”
My flesh says: “But why can’t it be successful? Why can’t I WIN?”
And I realize that God will probably withhold that success from me, possibly forever, but at least until I learn that success shouldn’t be my goal.
Isaiah 43:7 says, “Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” **
I have not been writing for the riches of His glory, but for my own.
Shame.
Irony, that I can’t even allow myself to give up writing, but according to His will, must write on for the pleasure of it and not for renown. To take the rejections with a smile, and continue to plot and spin and form the words He has given me, just because He says to.
It’s a silly little problem, really, when I could be poor in accolades but rich with His gift.
*Philippians 2:5-8 NIV
** Isaiah 43:7 NIV
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Good job!
This spoke to me very loudly and on so many different levels.
Thanks for your honesty and for this lovely powerful entry.
God Bless~
This spoke to me very loudly and on so many different levels.
Thanks for your honesty and for this lovely powerful entry.
God Bless~
Magnificent entry. Congratulations on your placing, but you'll be getting no atta-girl's from me.
Okay, just one: Atta girl!
You write because we need to read what you express.
I sure needed to read this today...only GOD knows how much.
Thank you for continuing to press on with your writing gift!
Our labor is never in vain in our Lord!
God Bless, Mike Edwards