Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: The Inner Person (09/09/10)
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TITLE: The Remains of the Day | Previous Challenge Entry
By David Story
09/15/10 -
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She listened to the sound of footsteps descending the stairs.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she walked over to the vanity and sat down. It took her a full minute to look in the mirror.
By the time she got downstairs the guests were waiting.
“Hello, everyone,” she smiled.
They smiled back.
She mingled with them.
She made small talk with them.
She listened to their conversations; nodding or shaking her head in response to a question, smiling when someone said something complementary.
“The kids are all in college now?”
“The house looks wonderful.”
And then finally …
“It was a lovely dinner.”
Once the dishes were clean and the downstairs’ lights were off, she went back upstairs.
She could hear his heavy breathing as he slept.
She walked over to the vanity and sat down.
When she removed her makeup, the bruises were still there.
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Sad story - I hope the MC finds the courage to leave the trappings of her home and social life to escape her abuser.
Very good use of the topic. I enjoyed this, despite the sad ending.
Powerful stuff. Great job.
The ending seemed a bit sudden, but I'm pretty sure you meant it that way.
You portrayed a story that is too often reality. Nice job in tackling this though subject.
Little is much when written the right way. You did it!
Just one observation. Brevity gave me little opportunity to see more of the inner self of the main character. Still, very impressive.