Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Hmph! (03/04/10)
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TITLE: I Make a Mean Taco | Previous Challenge Entry
By Sally Hanan
03/10/10 -
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Did you know Pastor Mutthead, um, Mawhead, has volunteered three of our little church’s members for a mission trip to Belize?
You did? I absolutely cannot believe he did not ask me if I would like to go! Whoever gave him the right to pass me over for the young ones he signed up?
I speak almost fluent Spanish, you know. I love to pray for people, and I make a mean taco. I am perfectly capable of holding my own down there, and I am so far beyond the younger generation when it comes to wisdom and love. That’s what they need down there in Belize, you know, they need people like me. Especially truth, they need the truth the way I tell it.
Who does Mutthead think he is? He’s not a very good pastor if he can’t even open the offer to the congregation and ask who’d like to go. My hand would have shot up in seconds. It’s always been my dream to go abroad and catch some sun.
So, God, you’re making me talk to you about it. It’s not like I want to talk with you, you know? I’m sure you’ll let me know what you think of my attitude, but seriously, sometimes I just have to stand up for what’s right!
. . .
What? I’m flabbergasted! You’re telling me to butt out of Mutthead’s decision and let you handle things? You know what you’re doing; if I don’t like it that’s just too bad. I should have known that’s what you’d say. I think you might be the one with the attitude problem. . . . Ok, fine, I didn’t say that.
My pension doesn’t account for trips to the sun, but you could have gotten me there if a few generous people had pitched in. Isn’t that what the church is for—to pay for other people’s mission trips?
Fine, then. Be that way.
Take a look at those three people through your eyes? What would I do that for? Ok, fine.
I see Katie dressed in her shorts that are too short . . . oh, you want me to only look for what you see. Don’t you see those shorts, Lord? Hmm. I see her bursting with passion to tell other teenagers about you through drama and testimonies.
So?
Ok then . . . big n’ tall Dan with the slouched shoulders and the hair in his eyes—um, I see Dan fixing almost every conceivable machine known to man with one bag of tools.
Big deal, God. You seriously want me to keep going? That Jeanette woman is Mutthead’s sister, so that doesn’t even count. That’s nepotism at its finest. Fine, I get it!
I see Jeanette bandaging legs, handing out pills, and washing wounds. She's stroking heads and hugging moms . . .
Fine, God, I get it, ok, even though you seem to have obliterated the fact that I have skills those two crumpets and the giant might need when they’re ministering in Belize. I get that maybe, just maybe, Mutthead picked the best ones for the trip. You’ve proved your point. Can we just forget about it now?
Speaking of being able to make a mean taco, I’m taking a fancy to having one for my dinner. Now if I could just find my teeth . . .
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Attitude gets in the way of reality. (Guilty)
This should be a winner in my eyes!
I stumbled a bit when you had your MC "talking for the Lord." It felt stilted to me.
This must have been fun to write. THanks!
Good use of the topic. Well done.
Good job!