The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/07/09
A grim reminder that adulthood is not always about how old you are. In terms of the poem, I think that a series of four very different poems, using different poetic forms might have better told the stories rather than putting them all in the one peom.
Your poem shows the difficulty of being forced into adult responsibilites at an early age. The situations are sad and too true.
08/10/09
What a heart-breaking message. I love the way you have put these verses into prayers from a collection of "children-cum-adults" before their time. The last verses especially are tear-jerkers...How terrible to be an adult, unable to run from the present situation, unable to return to being a child, unable to change circumstances...Only God can hear these prayers...Well done! I hope this poem is a winner. It should be...Helen
08/12/09
This was a great reminder to all of us that being forced into adulthood in other countries is more of a nightmare than we could ever imagine. What a heartbreaker. Good writing.
This poem affected me deeply. I read and reread it and ended up weeping, knowing there are those young boys around the world who are forced into adulthood way before their immature bodies are ready. This is surely a winning entry. Thank you for posting it.
08/12/09
Good take on the topic. The only thing that confused me was how one person's story ran into the next. I had to reread it to figure out the transitions. Maybe an extra line break would help. I'm not a poet, so I'm not sure. I do know that in just a few words, you painted a picture of the sadness that comes to those who have to become adults while they are still children.
Oh, my, the heartbreak of children forced into adulthood. Beautiful work.
08/12/09
Children being pushed into Adult roles happens everyday and it saddens me. You brought out the ugly picture it develops.
Mona
Gave me goosebumps reading it, so very heartfelt and yet heart-breaking for all of these silent prayers as these children move from childhood to the realm of adults. Good job.
I have heard of stories like this, but never heard it told so heart-felt and eloquently. I can see why this was awarded an EC - well deserved!
08/13/09
Congratulations on your story receiving highly commended and EC status. I can hardly see to type for the tears in my eyes.
Lisa
WOOT!!! Way ta go, Ruth!! :P
08/14/09
Second comment: Congratulations on your "Highly Commended" status...Your heartbreaking story-poem was well deserving of the commendation...Helen