Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Good and Bad (05/07/09)
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TITLE: Newton and the Gospel | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ruth Neilson
05/11/09 -
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Rubbing his eyes he sank into the computer chair. He was almost sure that Deb was out to kill him and his fellow challengers with this quarter's theme: Science and the Gospels. Though, he could count on one redeeming factor: low numbers.
He had carefully watched the previous weeks' numbers and breathed a sigh of relief when the numbers rarely broke 150. Maybe this week would have similar results, especially with a topic as "nerdy" as "Newton's Third Law of Motion and How it Relates to the Gospel."
He opened Deb's email and followed the enclosed link in another window accessing the backdoor to the entries. He opened a level and began to read, making notations and rankings as he went. Thankfully, there were only a few new entries.
Finally, five entries later, he had to take a break. It wasn't that the writing was bad...it was just becoming tiring reading the same idea repeatedly. He sighed and looked over his rating sheet. There were two that were good, using Newton in a way that he hadn't expected, one that was semi-creative—comparing the fall of man to the actions of Christ on the cross, and then the final two...he wasn't too sure what they were talking about.
Then there were the other issues that he was judging. Exhausted, he rubbed the back of his neck. Maybe it was time to call it a night before he started trying to read another entry without really reading it. After all, it was still early in the week and he was essentially caught up.
Just one more entry... He thought, stretching lazily before opening the next entry.
The gospel is very similar to Newton's third law of motion because it demonstrates...
He paused and shook his head; it was yet another person who was just determined to just get an entry in for the week and was idealess otherwise. Must be a new person to the challenge, he mused, opening their entry with the topic, definitely a bad move. But he pressed on with his reading, I am an example of the equal and opposite reaction in full force. I grew up in a Christian home, but I chose to run from the cross and what all that it stood for...
As the piece came to an end, he bit his lip, considering his score sheet. How could an entry that started off so bad, turn into something that was that good was tough to judge. Okay, time to disconnect himself from the entry.
How well did this entry fit the topic? Surprisingly well. How creative was this entry? Not so much, but it was decent. How well crafted was this entry? He made his marking as he continued down the list before finally saving his notes and closing the program.
Sometimes it was the lower levels that surprised him the most. He knew he wasn't supposed to have any favorites, but for some reason, this one was definitely in the running. Who knew, maybe it would make the cut and make it into the coveted Editor's Choice, but, it was definitely too early to call. All he knew was that he was going to watch this entry once his job was finished, it was going to become an interesting week.
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Different take on this weeks topic. But, I guess "Good and Bad". Not too bad?
Mona
JMHO, this piece seemed a bit anti-climactic - I kind of expected a more significant ending. Good idea for the topic, though, and you draw the reader into the MC's world very well.
Creative take on the topic, although maybe just a bit "inside."
Well done.
Funny enough, for a story about judging I wasn't entirely convinced as to what the point of this drole tale was. You raise some amusing and valuable issues but I felt that your story lacked a little in the way of punch.
Well, gotta go. More research to do. Thanks for the smile.