The Official Writing Challenge
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So sad, but well written...
I would suggest adding punctuation; it makes a poem flow more smoothly.
So many women are subject to so many cruelties by men in this sinful world - we need more men of God willing to make a difference in the world.
Keep up the good work!
02/20/09
So glad you wrote about this topic. It is a tragedy many women in India face.

Choosing Indian names is difficult. Sadiqua and Taj are usually Muslim names. Patel is a Gujarati Hindu last name. Also, you mentioned a grave at the end. Most people in India are cremated.

I liked the double meaning of the title. :)

02/20/09
I stumbled a bit at
_Than his bride’s modest treasure store._
doesn't quite fit the rhythmn I don't think but other than that W.O.W.

OMgosh .. The title? And those last 4 stanzas .. Could they be more perfectly haunting?

The jaunty, rhyming format is the ideal contrast to what is actually being said!!

Chilling. Stunning.
02/21/09
Excellent descriptions. Very visual piece.
02/21/09
Oooooh, the title and what follows make this a powerful piece of work. I would agree with a previous commenter—the combination of poetry with the subject matter makes a huge impact.
02/21/09
The atrocities women face in so many nations. This was a powerful piece.
Compelling piece!
A chilling narrative poem--very visual. Well done.
02/25/09
I agree, very chilling. Concise and powerful. The bluntness of the words makes all the more impact on the reader. Excellent!
02/27/09
Wow. This was so good! I love great titles, and yours fits the bill. What a sobering and sad story, but so wonderfully told. Well done, and congrats on your EC!