The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/30/09
What bittersweet memories this evokes. This had to be a most terrifying and horrendous time for all of Europe, and I heard stories from German children on the other side who experienced the same kinds of fears. How awful that any child has to endure things like this. Very poignant and searing images.
01/30/09
War's impact never leaves those who experienced it firsthand. Your writing brought me smack into the life of the MC--her bravery, fears, sadness and losses. Great job of bringing a piece of history to life.
01/31/09
What atmosphere and characterization! I was completely engaged in her life.
You painted a vivid sad picture of war days. Your ending was just the right touch.
02/03/09
Very melancholy, and the voice is very real.

A few small errors--an apostrophe and a comma out of place in the early paragraphs, and I believe an English woman would say "garden" instead of "backyard".

You made me wish right along with your narrator, and I left this with a sad and tender heart--sign of a good writer.
02/03/09
This was frightening and emotional. Nicely done.
02/03/09
It's difficult to imagine what wartime must have been like. However, you've painted a very good picture for me.