The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/14/08
I had to read this first as it had my name in it :) I liked the part about the girl having to make a choice as to what she believed. The story was a little confusing at the end, and an editing buddy would have helped with the overall polish of the piece. With a little more work on it this could be quite impactful.
02/16/08
...and she thought that was 'small stuff'? Wow. I liked the subtle shift from Shannon to Lambie, complete with the twitching she felt.
Compelling writing. I , too, had a bit of trouble st the end, but after reading a second time, I think I got it! Your descriptions were great.
02/16/08
Great description and characterization. I was intrigued throughout.
02/17/08
At first I thought this was the Holocaust and then I thought the end times. Am I close at all? This was most intriguing.
Laury
02/19/08
Your descriptions are very vivid and engaging.
02/19/08
Superb job of establishing an atmosphere, and of compelling your readers to move along through the piece. Excellent!
02/20/08
Chilling. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes when she finds out what the "small stuff" really means. Very compelling read.
I would love to see this expanded, perhaps in the general articles section. You create excellent impathy with Shannon's fear and confusion, as well as a vivid sense of place. You could probably build a novel around all the possibilities ripe in this piece.

I, too, unfortunately, had difficulty following the ending. Somehow the phrase "don't sweat the small stuff," just didn't quite seem to fit, to me. I had to do a lot of thinking about the spilt milk connection, and am still not sure I got that right. Finally, I wonder if a different title would more completely cover the scope of the story, as Sally was left behind fairly early on.
Thanks for the brick, I enjoyed this bold piece very much. Thanks.
Gave me goosebumps reading this. I'm still not sure at the end if it was Lambie that went or someone else. Either way, I admired the courage to mouth "don't sweat the small stuff" You made it real with "Sally" and the name changes and also losing her hair. Wow. Nice job here. ^_^
02/21/08
Amazing work on this incredibly creative story. Perfect title too.