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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Great (07/06/06)

TITLE: The Beggar’s Mite
By Purity Snowe
07/07/06


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Huddled in the alley weeping,
Swathed in scraps of blankets torn.
Pressed against a darkened threshold,
Hope rescinded, heart forlorn.
Jazzy wept, her heart forlorn.

Filth and grime swirled, fetid, pungent.
High-rise slums blocked sun and air.
Windows caked with disappointment.
Young eyes searched in cold despair.
Helplessness wrought cold despair.

Cracked hands pleading, stretching skyward,
Jazzy voiced a whispered moan.
“It’s the children that I cry for
Suffering and all alone.
Help the children, all alone.”

Lifting gaze in expectation,
Waiting for Divine reply,
Body stooped with disappointment,
Staring at the silent sky.
No response, a silent sky.

Sounds of traffic grew deriding,
Mocking, growling, taunting, scorn.
“My disciples! My disciples!”
Echoed in the sounding horns.
Demons in the sounding horns.

In the east the murk receded
Charcoal clouds sliced as a wound.
There a shaft of light entreated
That her faith might be exhumed.
Jazzy’s faith must be exhumed.

Crippled legs stood up in wonder
Watching for what God would do.
Excited prayer! Anticipation!
A whisper churned, “Not Me, but you.”
The Spirit said, “Not Me, but you.”

Jazzy dropped, her countenance failing,
Trembling hands in matted hair.
“What I have are rags and fetters.
Why would anybody care?
Not a single one will care.”

Traffic coiled in serpents’ rhythms.
Twisting lies of fate and doom.
“You have nothing! You have nothing!”
And she choked on thickening gloom.
Jazzy balked in thickening gloom.

Then the light, a flaming dagger,
Pierced the twilight and the mud
‘till it found two copper pennies
Lost, misplaced, commingled blood.
Coins reflect commingled blood.

Jazzy stumbled forward, falling
To her knees. Her faith redressed.
Now this greatest gift she offered,
Gave them all that she possessed.
Offered God what she possessed.

Holy born through acts of mercy
Somehow knew that He approved.
Mustard seed and growing deeper.
Thought she saw a mountain move.
Jazzy saw a mountain move!


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This article has been read 1250 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Amy Nicholson07/13/06
Way to paint a picture! I like how this poem built up to the greatness in the mustard seed. Great job!
Sharlyn Guthrie07/13/06
This was a delight to read! I especially like the repetition in the last two lines of each verse, and I loved the ending, with the mountain moving!
Dixie Phillips 07/13/06
Oh my.... I would love to hear this recited with "great" expression.... especially the last two lines. Bravo!
Brenda Craig07/13/06
Wow! Awesome! A beautiful rendition of and old story. My favorite lines......Cracked hands pleading, stretching skyward,
Jazzy voiced a whispered moan.
“It’s the children that I cry for
Suffering and all alone.
Help the children, all alone.”
Everyone has something to give and the potential to move mountains. Touched me to the core and I agree with the above comment. I would love to hear this recited. Great job!!!!
Lynda Lee Schab 07/14/06
Masterful for sure! The style, the rhythm, the message...all brilliant. Pure perfection. A definite contender this week.
Mark Anthony Belosa07/14/06
Great message!
Tabiatha Tallent07/14/06
This is beautiful.
Melanie Kerr 07/15/06
I liked the poem but I did not find the last line in each of the verses was really needed. I loved the last verse in particular – the mustard seed and mountains moving!
Gary Sims07/17/06
Very strong entry... Great in its own right.
Trina Courtenay07/18/06
I liked the repetition, I felt it moved the poem along nicely.
Rita Garcia07/18/06
Beautiful!
william price07/18/06
Anointing + talent + vision = aweSUM! Great Job!
Jan Ackerson 07/18/06
I love it--the repitition is particularly effective, and a nice, polished touch.
Amy Michelle Wiley 07/18/06
Wow, I loved this, especially the part when I figured out who the lady was. The word "traffic" threw me off because it seems a modern word to me, but otherwise great poem. I, too, liked the repetition.
Kimberly Mitchell07/18/06
I love this you are not only an amazing writer of stories but poems too. Good Job. :)
Edy T Johnson 07/18/06
I've already given Kenn my vote for next Poet Laureate of the USA, but you will certainly follow him when his term expires! I just relish the words you use and how you put them together. My barely begun poem on the widow's mite will never hold a candle to this.
Stephen Paynter07/18/06
I not competent to comment on the technicalities of your poem, but I can say that I found it a thought-provoking look at the woman behind the "Beggar's Mite". It is so easy to take the characters that we meet in Scripture at face value, and never use our God given imaginations to flesh out what life must have been like for them.

I liked the fact that you portrayed faith as being hard for her, as well as life - until the end. Faith so often is hard when things go wrong for us. Thank you for this entry!
T. F. Chezum07/19/06
Very well crafted. Great use of repetition. Excellent.