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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Life (06/15/06)

TITLE: Child I Love You
By Purity Snowe
06/22/06


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Bitter memories
Swirling pain inside me
I try to break free of them
But canít
Iím trapped with no chance of escape
So many things Iíve done
Wonít go away
Theyíre malignant
A cancer eating at my soul
Who could love me?
I despair for my life
My death

Savage violations
Tearing scars around me
I try to conceal them
But canít
They bind me, leaving no chance of escape
So many things have happened
Wonít go away
Theyíre acidic
A burning ember on my flesh
Who could love me?
I cringe at my life
My death

Brutal guilt
Enveloping pitch surrounds me
I try to forget
But canít
Iím a prisoner with no chance of escape
Iím worthless, the sins Iíve committed
Wonít go away
Theyíre chains
Weighting me into the grave
Who could love me?
I want to take my life
Find death

A dawning
New light breaks around me
I try to look away
But canít
Iím presented with options
Eternal or mortal
They wonít go away
Until I choose
A scarred hand reaches
ďChild I love youÖĒ
I give my life
Leave death


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This article has been read 859 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/22/06
Beautiful cadence, powerful message.
Jessica Schmit06/22/06
POWERFUL!!! I can't believe you 'threw this together.' I wish I could throw something together and it turn out like this. People like you, Maxx and Anita just amke me sick! LOL. Masterpieces in minutes. You should start a club! (wink). Honestly, this struck home. As do many of your writings, and your brought it full circle to God-which I love. One of your attributes is that you're able to capuslate on the emotions of someone struggling with past sins, yet you leave the reader with hope. Your ending was amazing. incredible. I don't know what else to say.
Kenn Allan06/23/06
Ah... I think I recognize this author from the depth of the feelings portrayed. Very nice. Only one teeny-tiny suggestion... some of your lines/sections would have been a little more effective with appropriate punctuation at the end of a line; not all, just a few.
Phyllis Inniss 06/23/06
How love eradicates pain. Your poem is simply wonderful, strong and soul searching. It is just different and encouraging.
Sally Hanan06/24/06
Another great piece of writing. At this point you have definitely proven to yourself that your prose/poetry works and you can do it with class. What I'd encourage you to do now is develop that further - take this and give life to a character, let us see her, put her in a setting, give us some dialogue etc. As the fitness ad says, "You can do it!"
Linda Watson Owen06/25/06
Yes, you've allowed your reader to plumb the heart wrenching depths of need and progress to the light of restoration in this striking poetic verse.
Suzanne R06/26/06
It's all been said - beautiful, poignant, painful yet with that beautiful strong ray of hope at the end - well done!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/26/06
What's left you say? Beautiful. You brought her through the depths of despair to the heights of hope. You brought life.
Jan Ackerson 06/26/06
Wow! As always, powerful writing, and a marvelous infusion of grace at the end. I'm with Sally--consider branching out a bit next term: try some fiction, or something lighthearted or rhymed. You're a gifted, gifted poet, and I'd love to see what else you can do. Your talent, at such a young age, astounds.
Trina Courtenay06/26/06
A talented MASTER poet. Oh what shall I do next week? When Purity Snowe has no poem for me to read? I'm not a poet & I know it.
Blessings,
Trina<><
T. F. Chezum06/27/06
Incredible, powerful very well written. Another excellent job.
George Parler 06/28/06
Oooo ... wonderful to say the least. You go girl ... again. Great job!
Garnet Miller 06/28/06
God can take those bitter memories and hardship and tuck them away in a place where He can love us through them. Great poem!