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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)

TITLE: A Promise
By Purity Snowe
06/05/06


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Iíve seen it.
In the distance it was there, ephemeral.
Behind the dumpster on 17th street
Where Kitty was found last week,
Beaten, dead.
Perhaps it had come to her, but too late.
Or maybe sheíd found it and left a little behind
For me, for us,
Those that live on the edges of darkness
And struggle to survive.
Those that canít get it on our own.
What is peace for one like me?
Elusive.

Iíve heard it.
In the alleys it was there, whispering.
Smothered by the curses of prostitutes
Who seem so much like me,
Hurting, weak.
Perhaps it had come to them, but too fleeting.
Or maybe, skeptical, theyíd pushed it away
From me, from us,
Those that doubt on the edges of darkness
And struggle to understand.
Those who canít get it on our own.
What is peace for one like me?
A dream.

Iíve felt it.
Near the altar it was there, soothing.
At the foot of a cross battered and warn
Where bitter tears spilled unashamed.
Guilt, indignity.
Perhaps it had come to me, after too long.
Or maybe it had been there all the while
For me, for us,
Those that search on the edges of darkness
And struggle to believe,
Waiting for us to kneel and accept it.
What is peace for one like me?
A promise.


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This article has been read 967 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sally Hanan06/08/06
This is a very visual and thoughful piece. I struggle with the last line though - if it is elusive and a dream, I don't think a promise follows - perhaps "a hope within reach" or something like that would work better.
Jessica Schmit06/09/06
Well girl, you've done it again. Inccredible, breathtaking entry. Cuts threw the heart and pierces the soul. Beautiful imagery and I loved the ending. Perfect example of the peace was always there, yet it has to be a personal choice to reach out and choose Him to be fully satisfied.
Helen Paynter06/09/06
Brilliant. Loved the symmetry of the verses, the progression of the thought, the word usage - there wasn't anything I didnt love!
Kathleen Fairman06/10/06
Very touching and powerful. Thanks for sharing it.
Karen Treharne06/10/06
Very well written and presented. I loved the sequencial application of peace to this individual living on the streets. A message of hope - and promise. A wonderful read.
Rachel Rudd06/12/06
This is a beautifully written, thoughtful piece. I loved the last line, Purity. It really hits it home that the promise of peace can be real to everyone.
Jan Ackerson 06/12/06
This is hauntingly beautiful, especially your first stanza, where just a little bit of peace is left behind amidst squalor. One of your best.
Pat Guy 06/12/06
Yes, the bruised, dark world sees peace as elusive and a dream - something not real, nothing but a fantasy - out of reach.

You tenderly show them it is a solid, obtainable truth. Something to grasp and hold on to.

Love it Purity. Beautiful. :)
Edy T Johnson 06/12/06
God's "Promise" is what we need, for sure, to give us reason to hope for that "elusive dream" of finding peace!

I have noticed the parallel structure of the stanzas in your previous poems, and I have to tell you, I LOVE it! I relish poetry done well, and you know how to do it better than most of us (I'm afraid!). God bless your writing for His glory!
Marty Wellington 06/13/06
Don't know how I could possibly add to the comments already here, but wanted to say that this poem is extraordinary. It seems to be God breathed. The symmetry and images take my breath away. Blessings to you!
Anita Neuman06/14/06
Wow, Purity! You've done it again. This is just stunning in its heart-wrenching pain and brilliant conclusion. One tiny fix: I think you meant "battered and worn". Fabulous work!
Sherry Wendling06/14/06
How do you do it? You can portray such ragged, raw cuts of suffering, yearning and desperation and use beautifully polished, inspired poetic imagery and structure to do it! Your unique combination of wordsmanship, gut-honesty and tenderness penetrates to the heart as few poets can.
I'm hooked!
Sherry Wendling06/15/06
Congratulations, Purity! Once again your amazing, delicious talent is justly rewarded!
Trina Courtenay06/15/06
WOW Purity, I see you've done it again! Congrats!

I look forward to your next piece.

Trina <><
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/15/06
Congratulations Purity. You did great. I so appreciate your spirit. Your words draw out what's inside the heart and in your heart I see a very special woman.
Helen Paynter06/15/06
Congratulations - a very well deserved win.