The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Very sweet. I must commend you for your dialogue skills. Do you write plays? I was quite impressed.
05/19/06
Would be a good story for a youth devotional. Good job!
05/20/06
Great lesson for children. You did a good job putting this idea over.
05/23/06
Well put together. I liked the message and the finished feel. We moved betwee the husband's and wife's head... a POV break. The story still worked though. Minor issue. Good job, though! Congrats on a great effort!
You did a good job here. You taught this important lesson very clearly. Well written.
05/24/06
My favorite part is the scetion when AJ is talking about his day. You really nailed what's important to a kid!

Small note: "after all" is two words.

Great job on the dialog, and a sweet story.
05/24/06
Good stuff. We usually do not start narratives with dialogue unless for dramatic effect. I suppose this works on this essay.
05/24/06
Like this very much, the dialogue realistic, and the message strong.
I liked the fact that dialogue told almost the whole story....except for a couple of little explanations. This brought me right into the scene!

Nice job!